Letter

Band 5+: You bought a new smartphone online recently, but it has several defects. Write a letter to the customer service department of the online store. In your letter, you should include: - details of the defects you found in the smartphone - explain what happened when you tried to resolve the issue - say what action you want the company to take

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Dear sir,

I am writing to lay a complain on the new smart phone I bought from your website which turns out to develop some faults.

When I ordered the phone from your website, it was so expensive, but due to how enticing the phone is, I had to buy it. I was so happy to hear the arrival of the phone on Friday. With great expectations, I had to put a call through my brother and tell him about it. Now that the phone is here today (Friday), I noticed the screen is broken.

The screen we know is a sensitive part in a phone, and I know the fault is going to escalate if nothing is done to fix it. Well, I tried managing it for a week, but I realized that I can’t see some messages when I send messages on WhatsApp, which I see it as a disturbance.

Moreover, I believe it will not be fixed within the space of a week if I returned it to the company, and I’m quite impatient when it comes to gadgets, so please I think it is better I get a refund before the ending of this week. I have sent a dispatch rider to deliver the phone to the company .

I hope you find this letter more understandable that how I feel right now.

Yours Faithfully,

Okunseri Peter.

Word Count: 231

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

phone: 7

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task by complaining about the faulty smartphone and mentioning the defects, inconvenience, and desired resolution. However, the letter includes some irrelevant details and could be more clearly organized. To improve, focus on concisely presenting the key information and ensuring a logical flow of ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization could be improved for better clarity. Consider dedicating separate paragraphs to each of the points mentioned in the task: detailing the defects, explaining the inconvenience, and stating the desired resolution. Transition words and phrases could also be used to link ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate but could be more precise and varied. For instance, instead of saying 'how enticing the phone is,' you could use phrases like 'the phone's appealing features' or 'the phone's attractive specifications.' Also, avoid informal language such as 'put a call through.' Using a wider range of vocabulary would enhance the letter's impact.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors that affect the clarity of the letter. For example, 'lay a complain' should be 'lodge a complaint,' and 'turns out to develop some faults' could be rephrased as 'has developed some faults.' Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and proper article usage. Proofreading carefully before submitting would help catch these errors.

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you have bought a mobile phone in a tax-free shop just a few days ago, and it doesn't work properly. task: write a letter to the manager to complain about it and ask him to solve the problem.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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