Letter

Band 4+: You have received a job offer for an exciting, new position. Although you are expected to start on September 7th, you are only available to start a week later due to personal reasons. Write a letter to your new boss. In your letter: 1. Express your enthusiasm for the job offer. 2. Explain the problem 3. Suggest what you can do

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Mr/ Madam,

Hello,

I hope this message finds you well. My name is Beytullah Günhan. I applied to your company two weeks ago. I am going to accept this offer surely and I am grateful for this offer.

But I have some problems with my family and my old job. Initially, I had argument with my boss about my future. I was not satisfied with my job particularly regarding salary because they were paying me low salary. Furhermore, I can’t speak to my boss. Thus, they had easy-going about this issue.

Additionally, my wife and I did argue often for I don’t speak with my boss,. She was right because I have to talk to my boss but I don’t need to speak now because you accept me.

Latter, I was exhausted in this period. So, I need a holiday with my family. I know, I have to start on September 7th. Can I start on September 10th? Because I am going on vacation from September 5th to September 9th.

Thank you for your understanding and support.

Best regards,

Beytullah Günhan

Word Count: 181

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

because: 4

september: 4

speak: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter attempts to address the task but includes irrelevant and inappropriate information. The explanation of personal reasons is unclear and focuses on past issues with a previous job and arguments with his wife, which are not relevant to the request for a delayed start date. The letter needs to focus specifically on the reason for needing to delay the start date and offer a clear and concise explanation. To improve, focus on directly addressing the prompt's requirements with relevant information and a professional tone.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's coherence is affected by the inclusion of irrelevant details and a lack of clear organization. The reasons for needing a later start date are obscured by explanations of past job issues and marital disagreements. To improve, focus on directly addressing the task's points in a logical order: express enthusiasm, explain the conflict with the start date, and propose a solution. Remove extraneous information to maintain focus.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and sometimes inappropriate for a formal letter to a new employer. For example, phrases like 'easy-going about this issue' and the repeated use of 'speak' could be replaced with more professional alternatives. Expand your vocabulary related to employment and formal requests to enhance the letter's impact. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. For instance, 'I am going to accept this offer surely' and 'I had argument with my boss' demonstrate a need for improved grammatical accuracy. Focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence construction to enhance clarity and professionalism.

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