Letter

Band 5+: You have received a letter from your bank informing you about a sudden and significant increase in your account fees. Write a letter to the bank manager explaining your concern. You should include: - Express your dissatisfaction with the increased fees - Inquire about the reasons for this change - Suggest a possible solution or compromise

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Dear the bank manager,

I am writing regarding the letter from your bank that clarifies an unexpected and huge grow in my account fees. Due to this circumstance, I am so concerned.

Naturally, I am so dissatisfied with increased payments that nowdays I have been facing some other financial problems, so it can make me stayed without money for a while. If I lose control in my finances, I will be unfrustrated.

In order to not face situation like this again in the future, I will require explanations and reasons for this change. I want to explore it in details, so I will demand formal responses if it is possible.

I can come up with this condition next month, as far as I will gain much income in the following month. If you refuse my suggestion, we can consider compromisive solutions to this by having a face to face meeting soon.

Yours faithfully,

Husan Ubaydulloyev

Word Count: 155

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter addresses all the requirements of the task, expressing dissatisfaction, inquiring about the reasons, and suggesting a solution. However, the tone could be more professional and the language more precise. For example, instead of saying 'huge grow,' use 'significant increase.' Also, the phrase 'I will be unfrustrated' is not idiomatic; consider rephrasing it. To improve, focus on using more formal language and structuring your arguments more clearly.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of ideas could be improved. The progression from expressing dissatisfaction to inquiring about reasons and suggesting solutions is logical, but the connections between sentences and paragraphs are not always smooth. Consider using transition words and phrases to link ideas more effectively. For example, you could use 'Furthermore' to add more information or 'Therefore' to indicate a consequence. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main point to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there are instances where more precise or sophisticated word choices could enhance the impact. For example, instead of 'huge grow,' consider using 'significant increase.' Also, phrases like 'stayed without money for a while' could be rephrased for better clarity and formality. Expanding your range of vocabulary and focusing on using more formal language would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'nowdays' should be 'nowadays,' and 'unfrustrated' should likely be 'frustrated' or 'in a difficult situation'. There are also issues with sentence structure and word choice that need attention. Review basic grammar rules, focusing on verb tenses, articles, and prepositions. Practicing writing and carefully proofreading your work will help improve accuracy.

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