Letter

Band 6+: You have recently moved to a new neighborhood and would like to join a sports center there, you have found a private sports club write a letter to the manager of the sports club, In your letter, introduce yourself say why are you interested in this sports club Ask some questions about the club e.g. facilities, memberships, costs etc, write at least 150 words Begin your letter as follows, Dear Sir or Madam,

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to request information about how I could join to the sport club centre.

First of all, I am Agustin Rios, I am from Chile, I am new in the neighborhood. I am 25 years old and I am a rugby player. Additionally, I like to met a new people, I am kind and friendly.

To begin with, I am interested in this club becasuse I have a friend playing there. He gave me a very good recommendations. In addition, this club it is near to my house. Consequently, my schedules could match with training times.

I would like to ask some questions about the sport centre. Firstly, I would like to know about the facilities that I can use as a member. Secondly, all the memberships has the same accessibilites at the gym. Finally,if there are more memberships than one. Could you tell me the prices.

I would like to suggest

I would appreciate your attention to this matters. I look forward to your response.

Yours faithfully,

Agustin Rios.

Word Count: 178

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

would: 4

about: 3

could: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter appropriately covers all requirements of the task, providing relevant information about the writer's interest in joining the sports club and asking pertinent questions about facilities, memberships, and costs. There are a few minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, but these do not significantly detract from the overall quality of the response. To improve, focus on refining sentence structure and ensuring accurate grammar and word choice throughout the letter.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent and logically organized, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the transitions between some ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from introducing yourself to explaining your interest in the club could be more seamless. Consider using transitional phrases to connect ideas more effectively. Also, the suggestion at the end seems incomplete and out of place; it should be removed or properly integrated into the request for information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and sophistication. For instance, instead of repeatedly using simple phrases like 'I would like to know,' try more varied expressions such as 'I am keen to learn about' or 'I am interested in finding out.' Expanding your range of vocabulary will enhance the overall quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Examples include 'join to the sport club centre,' 'becasuse,' 'this club it is near,' and inconsistencies in subject-verb agreement. While the overall meaning is understandable, these errors detract from the letter's professionalism. Focus on proofreading carefully to identify and correct these mistakes. Pay attention to basic grammar rules, such as correct preposition usage, spelling, and subject-verb agreement.

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