Letter

Band 4+: You live in a room in college that you share with another student, but there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In your letter: Describe the situation. Explain your problems and why it is difficult to work. Say what kind of accommodation you would prefer. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

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Dear Sir or Madam,

My name is Felicia, and I’m a student major accounting first term. Right now I still live in dorm that sharing with 3 other students their names Micella, Janette and Carolina. We have been lives in this dorm like 4/5 months.

The reason I write this letter because for me this is big problem for my accademic future. I have some issue that I can’t take any longer to live together with them and I have plan to rent other house nearby collage. My problem becouse I feel to many people in 1 room and make me uncomfortable to do my activity and I feel I have not privacy to myself. But another reason I have some personal issue too with my roomate that the reason I want to leave this dorm.

So I have few request, because I moved , I want to collage provide my accommodation to go to collage. So I hope Sir/Madam can consider agree my request.

Warm Regards

Felicia,

Word Count: 168

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

reason: 3

collage: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter generally addresses the requirements of the task, but the inclusion of irrelevant or inaccurate material detracts from the task achievement. The letter describes the situation and explains some problems, but it could be more specific about why it is difficult to work. The preferred accommodation is only vaguely mentioned. To improve, provide more details about the specific problems with the roommates and the impact on your studies. Also, clearly state the type of accommodation you would prefer and why.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is weak, making it difficult to follow the progression of ideas. Paragraphing is not effectively used to separate different points. The introduction is abrupt, and the conclusion lacks a clear summary of the request. To improve coherence, use topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph and ensure a logical flow of information. Use cohesive devices (e.g., 'therefore,' 'in addition,' 'however') to link sentences and paragraphs smoothly. Clearly state the purpose of your letter in the introduction and summarize your request in the conclusion.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks the precision needed to convey the issues effectively. There is repetition of simple words and phrases. To enhance lexical resource, try to use a wider range of vocabulary related to accommodation, studying, and personal issues. Use a thesaurus to find synonyms for common words and phrases. Focus on using more specific and descriptive language to explain your problems and preferences.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect use of articles and prepositions. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. To improve grammatical accuracy, review basic grammar rules and practice constructing a variety of sentence types. Pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles and prepositions. Proofread carefully for errors before submitting your writing.

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