Letter

Band 8+: You live in a room in college that you share with another student, but there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In your letter: Describe the situation. Explain your problems and why it is difficult to work. Say what kind of accommodation you would prefer. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to you concerning my living arrangement. I reside in a room with another student. This would be satisfactory if it were not for certain issues caused by my room-mate affecting my work.

One of the issues involves noise. My room-mate plays loud music when he is studying or eating. This affects my focus and concentration on my work, making it more difficult to prepare for examinations.

Another issue revolves around cleanliness. He does not clean his room regularly, so there is a smell from his side of the room. I wish to stay in my room less because of this smell. This affects my rest negatively. As a result, I become less prepared for assignments and examinations.

I would prefer accommodation by myself. This is because I will clean regularly and there will be no noise issue affecting my focus. If not possible, I wish for relocation to a different room where my room-mate prefers less noisy environments and cleans regularly. This will allow me to contribute to the college in a more positive manner.

I look forward to your decision on my situation.

Sincerely,

Aryaan Irfan.

Word Count: 196

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

room-mate: 3

regularly: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter fully addresses all parts of the task. The situation is clearly described, the specific problems (noise and cleanliness) are well-explained in relation to the difficulty of working, and a clear preference for future accommodation is provided. The tone is appropriately formal for a letter to an accommodation officer, and the progression of ideas is logical and easy to follow. No improvements are necessary as the requirements of the task are appropriately satisfied.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is very well-organized and easy to follow. You have used clear paragraphing to separate the description of the situation, the specific problems, and your proposed solution. To reach a higher score, you could use more sophisticated cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'Consequently,' or 'In addition to the noise issues...') to link your ideas more fluidly rather than starting many sentences with simple subjects.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and accurate for the context (e.g., 'reside,' 'satisfactory,' 'relocation'). However, the range is somewhat limited. You tend to repeat certain words like 'issues,' 'smell,' and 'work.' To improve, try using synonyms or more descriptive phrasing. For example, instead of 'smell,' you could use 'unpleasant odor,' and instead of 'noise issue,' you could use 'auditory distractions' or 'disruptive noise levels.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Your grammar is generally very accurate, and you successfully used a complex structure ('This would be satisfactory if it were not for...') which demonstrates good control. Most sentences are error-free. To improve, try to incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence structures, such as relative clauses (e.g., 'My roommate, who often plays loud music, makes it difficult to study') to avoid a slightly repetitive sentence rhythm.

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