Letter

Band 5+: You recently bought a laptop from an online store, but it arrived damaged. Write a letter to the store manager to complain about the issue. Include: when and what you bought; what the problem is; what you would like the manager to do about it.

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Hello. I recently ordered a device (Asus TUF Gaming A15) from your online store after I saw the store receive decent reviews and decided to order, but unfortunately it arrived damaged and the customer service department has been unhelpful and were rude when I attended to the office for trying to resolve the misunderstanding.

At first, I want to describe how the package looked when I saw it at first: the box was very filthy and had a small hole on the top, when I opened the box, the laptop was totally broken. It was a full mess, the charge was pressing the device so the display has broken as the whole laptop. I have been trying to turn on the laptop but it haven’t, so I decided to return the device back.

I went to the service department with the laptop and the explanation of the issue and gave the manager check it himself but he said he won’t check it, because the company can’t give me money back for the broken product. The whole staff suspected me I could broke it myself and trying to retrieve the full amount of the laptop. It really offended me and I don’t know how to proove I got the laptop already broken.

I’m writing you to help me with this unevidence situation. What should I do next? Should I keep trying to get a full refund? I don’t have the video when I was opening it. I hope for your help.

Word Count: 250

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

laptop: 6

trying: 4

device: 3

broken: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the main points of the task: it describes the damaged laptop and packaging, mentions the unhelpful customer service, and asks for a resolution. However, there are several issues that detract from the task achievement. The tone is more like a request for advice than a formal complaint, and the letter ends with questions rather than a clear statement of expected action. Some details are unclear or inaccurate (e.g., 'the charge was pressing the device', 'proove'), and the language is informal and contains errors. To improve, adopt a more formal and assertive tone, clearly state the resolution you expect (e.g., a full refund or replacement), and provide a logical structure with clear paragraphs. Also, proofread for grammar and spelling errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter has a logical structure with clear paragraphs for each point, but the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear references. The opening sentence is overly long and combines multiple ideas, making it hard to follow. The transition from describing the problem to the customer service experience could be smoother. The final paragraph introduces new questions that are not directly related to the complaint, which slightly weakens the overall coherence. To improve, use clearer topic sentences and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there are several inaccuracies and informal choices that reduce precision. For example, 'filthy' is too informal for a formal complaint letter, and 'unevidence' is not a word (likely meant 'unsubstantiated' or 'without evidence'). The phrase 'the charge was pressing the device' is unclear; 'charger' would be more appropriate. The letter would benefit from more formal and precise language, such as 'damaged packaging' instead of 'filthy box' and 'refund' instead of 'money back'. Expanding the range of vocabulary and using more formal register would improve the score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity and accuracy. Examples include subject-verb agreement ('it haven't' should be 'it hasn't'), incorrect verb forms ('proove' should be 'prove'), and awkward sentence structures ('when I attended to the office for trying to resolve the misunderstanding'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with run-on sentences and missing commas. The letter would benefit from using a wider range of sentence structures, such as complex sentences with subordinate clauses, and ensuring subject-verb agreement and correct verb tenses throughout. Proofreading for these errors would significantly improve the grammatical accuracy.

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Band 5+: You recently bought a laptop from an online store, but it arrived damaged. Write a letter to the store manager to complain about the issue. Include: when and what you bought; what the problem is; what you would like the manager to do about it.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

You recently bought a laptop from an online store, but it arrived damaged. Write a letter to the store manager to complain about the issue. Include: when and what you bought; what the problem is; what you would like the manager to do about it.

You recently bought a laptop from an online store, but it arrived damaged. Write a letter to the store manager to complain about the issue. Include: when and what you bought; what the problem is; what you would like the manager to do about it.

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Check Your Answer On This Topic?

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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