Letter

Band 5+: You ordered an item from an online shop three weeks ago. The shop said you would get the item two days later but you have not received it yet. Last week you sent an email about the situation to the shop, but you did not receive a reply. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter explain the situation complain about the bad service ask for immediate delivery of your order or your money back

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter in regard to an item that I had ordered from your store.

Three weeks ago, I had ordered a new smartphone from your online shop. The phone’s model number is MWCT100, and it comes with a large charger brick. As of now, I hadn’t recieve my phone yet even though the shop promised me that it would arrived in two days. I had tried to sent them an email about this situation in order find a resolution. But so far, I haven’t recieved any reply yet.

Because of the bad customer service that I recieved, I had missed a few days for my job because I mainly use my phone to order a taxi.

For all of the inconvenience I had experienced, I would prefer it if you could tell you team to process my delivery faster. If you can not process it faster for whatever reasons. I would prefer a refund back to my original payment method that I had used on your website.

Thank you and I hope you have a good day.

Kind regards

John

Word Count: 187

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

would: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses all three bullet points of the task effectively. The situation is clearly explained, the complaint is personal and relevant, and the requested resolution is explicit. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. To improve and reach a higher band, ensure better grammatical accuracy, particularly regarding verb tenses (e.g., 'I hadn't receive' should be 'I haven't received', and 'it would arrived' should be 'it would arrive'). Additionally, refining the sentence structure to avoid fragments (e.g., 'If you can not process it faster for whatever reasons.') would enhance the overall flow and professionalism.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter follows a logical progression and addresses all parts of the prompt. However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by sentence structure issues and abrupt transitions. For example, the sentence starting with 'But so far...' is a fragment that should be connected to the previous sentence. To improve, try using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph flows naturally into the next without relying on short, choppy sentences.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task and the message is clear. However, there is some repetition and a lack of sophisticated phrasing. For instance, 'process my delivery faster' and 'process it faster' are repetitive. Using more formal or varied expressions such as 'expedite the delivery' or 'promptly dispatch the item' would elevate the lexical quality. Additionally, be careful with spelling (e.g., 'recieve' instead of 'receive'). Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are present throughout the letter and occasionally hinder the smoothness of reading. There are significant issues with tense usage, particularly the over-reliance on the past perfect ('I had ordered', 'I had missed', 'I had experienced') where the simple past or present perfect would be more appropriate. There are also errors in verb forms (e.g., 'would arrived' instead of 'would arrive', 'tried to sent' instead of 'tried to send') and spelling. Focus on mastering the distinction between past tenses and ensuring subject-verb agreement to improve accuracy.

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