Letter

Band 5+: You recently attended a two-day training course, but the course was poorly organised and the materials were outdated. Write a letter to the course organiser. In your letter: explain why you attended the course describe what you were dissatisfied with suggest how the course can be improved

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing you to inform that I am very disappointed with the course which I recently attended.

Last month, I saw a news on Facebook page about your new cookery short term classes course. So, I purchased this course on paying 5000 rupees. The duration of the course was 15 days. I attended these classes in my city hall town.

Furthermore, I want to learn new methods and some new cuisines that is the reason I joined it because my cooking is not very good and cooking is my favourite hobby . The trainer of the course is very rude personality. Not explain the things according to the course but always define the things orally not done practically.

Lastly, I would like to recommend you please refund my fees for the lessons along with this joined me for another cooking class which trainer is knowledgeable and experienced.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours Faithfully,

Manjinder Kaur

Word Count: 164

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

course: 6

cooking: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task by complaining about the course and including the requested details. However, the organization of the letter could be improved for clarity. The examples of what was wrong with the organization are not very specific. To improve, focus on providing concrete examples and structuring the letter more clearly around the three bullet points provided in the task.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of ideas could be improved. Consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to connect your ideas and ensure a smoother reading experience. For example, in the second paragraph, you could add a sentence that clearly states the purpose of the course and your expectations. In the third paragraph, you could start with a transition phrase like 'Moreover' or 'In addition to this' to introduce the next point. Also, the request in the last paragraph is a bit unclear. It would be better to separate the refund request from the request to join another class.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. To enhance your lexical resource, try to incorporate more specific and varied vocabulary related to the topic. For example, instead of saying 'very rude personality,' you could use words like 'unprofessional' or 'disrespectful.' Instead of 'not explain the things according to the course,' you could say 'did not follow the curriculum' or 'deviated from the course outline.' Using a wider range of vocabulary will make your writing more engaging and demonstrate a better command of the English language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, the sentence 'I am writing you to inform that I am very disappointed with the course which I recently attended' can be simplified to 'I am writing to express my disappointment with the course I recently attended.' Also, the sentence 'Not explain the things according to the course but always define the things orally not done practically' is grammatically incorrect and unclear. It could be rephrased as 'The trainer did not explain the concepts according to the course outline and only provided oral explanations without practical demonstrations.' Pay attention to sentence structure, verb tenses, and correct use of articles and prepositions to improve grammatical accuracy.

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