Letter

Band 7+: You recently completed a Business Analytics training course at a college, but you were dissatisfied with the quality of the course. Write a letter to the college principal. In your letter: explain which course you attended and why you chose it; describe what you were dissatisfied with about the course; suggest what the college should do to improve the course.

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Dear Sir,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter to express my dissatisfaction regarding the business analysis training course that I pursued at your college.

My name is Raman, and I attended Business Analytics Diploma in you college. I chose this course, because I was interested in pursuing my career in this field. Unfortunately, the time I spent at this college was totally worthless.This was because of bad-designed curriculum and teachers’ teaching techniques. I was unable to get my dream job at KP Group. I was rejected by them due to having insufficient knowledge. Moreover, I would also like to mention that during lecture time, some tutors used to talk over the phone and gossip with students rather than perform their duties.

I would be grateful if you could redesign this course and supervise mentors in every classroom so that no one has to face similar problems like mine.

I hope you will like my suggestions and take prompt action against this.

Yours faithfully,

Raman

Word Count: 169

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

course: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter effectively addresses all three required bullet points: it identifies the course and reason for choosing it, describes specific dissatisfactions (curriculum design, teaching quality, tutor behavior), and suggests improvements (redesigning the course and supervising mentors). The tone is appropriate and the purpose is clear. However, there are minor lapses in language accuracy (e.g., 'in you college', 'bad-designed') and the closing sentence 'I hope you will like my suggestions' is slightly informal for a formal complaint. To improve, proofread for grammatical errors and use more formal phrasing, such as 'I hope you will consider my suggestions and take appropriate action.'

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is well-organized with clear paragraphing: introduction, explanation of course choice, description of dissatisfaction, and suggestions. Cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'This was because' are used effectively. However, some transitions could be smoother, and the flow between ideas in the second paragraph could be improved by grouping related points together. For example, the issue of tutors' behavior could be placed after the curriculum issue for better logical flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally appropriate and conveys the message clearly. However, there are some inaccuracies and less sophisticated word choices, such as 'bad-designed' (should be 'badly designed' or 'poorly designed') and 'totally worthless' (which is very strong and informal). A wider range of more precise vocabulary would enhance the letter. For instance, 'inadequate curriculum' instead of 'bad-designed curriculum' and 'unprofessional conduct' instead of 'gossip with students' would be more formal and precise.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors. For example, 'in you college' should be 'in your college', and 'like mine' should be 'like mine' (though this is acceptable, 'as I did' might be clearer). Punctuation is mostly correct, but there is a missing space after a period in 'worthless.This'. Overall, the grammar is understandable but not error-free. Proofreading for such minor errors would improve accuracy.

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