Letter

Band 6+: You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he /she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: - Say why he/she would not enjoy going to college. - Explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her. - Suggest types of jobs that would be suitable for him/her.

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Dear Sam,

I hope you and your family are in radiant health. It been long time since we last met. I am writing to inform you about the personal choice that I made on your behalf about getting an employment would be a better option.

As the location of the college is extremely far and there are no commute service for that location, I think going to college would be just a waste of time and money. Additionally, I believe that as you are well versed with the latest technology and have strong fundamentals about the computers , joining an organisation where you could do some hands-on projects would be a smarter choice. Moreover, working on the project would be beneficial because not only you would gain industry experience but also earn wages for yourself.

I think you are good with manipulation of data and calculations , as a result, jobs such as Data Analyst, Business Analyst, Financial Analyst would be more convenient to apply. Recently, I saw multiple hirings on LinkedIn and job portals which you can go through and apply soon.

I believe that my suggestions would make your job search easy. Once you get a job, lets meet and go out for dinner.

Yours lovingly

Herat

Word Count: 209

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

would: 7

about: 3

analyst: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter appropriately addresses all parts of the task, providing reasons why the friend might not enjoy college, explaining the benefits of getting a job, and suggesting suitable job types. The advice is relevant and well-organized. To further enhance the response, consider adding more specific details or examples to strengthen the arguments and suggestions. For instance, you could elaborate on the specific types of projects the friend could work on or provide more details about the skills required for the suggested job roles.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized and the message is clear. However, the introduction could be more concise and directly address the friend's query. Consider streamlining the opening to immediately state the purpose of the letter. Also, ensure a smoother transition between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and generally effective. However, there are opportunities to use more varied and sophisticated language to express your points more precisely. For example, instead of 'good with manipulation of data,' you could use 'proficient in data analysis.' Expanding your range of vocabulary will enhance the impact of your writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a good command of grammar, but there are some errors that affect clarity. For instance, the sentence 'It been long time since we last met' contains grammatical errors. Pay closer attention to verb tense agreement and sentence structure. Proofreading carefully will help to eliminate these errors and improve the overall accuracy of your writing.

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