Letter

Band 7+: You recently went to a concert and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell him how you feel. Write a letter to the singer. In you letter Say how you feel about his performance Give details of your musical activities Explain how you would like him to help you with your musical activities.

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Dear Kunle Mike,

Good day Sir. I was opportuned to be at the annual concert at London’s gate where you performed. I was about to leave the concert when you came on stage. However, immediately I heard your voice, I had to go back and enjoy the melodious session. Your performance was top notch and well organized.

You might be wondering, who this is. I am Adedayo Deborah, a final year student of the musical school here in London. I have been able to release two albums alongsides my friends. Unfortunately, these albums didn’t do well and we ended up losing a large sum of money.

This is why I want you to be my mentor. Hearing you that night made me realize there is something missing in my singing career. I might not be able to say what exactly it is but I believe you can guide and lead me to a successful music career. If you wouldn’t mind, I will like to apply your industry for my internship program so that I can directly learn from you.

I appreciate your time and I look forward to your response.

Yours faithfully,

Adedayo Deborah.

Word Count: 194

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter appropriately addresses all parts of the task, providing relevant details about the concert experience, the writer's musical background, and the request for mentorship. The tone is consistently respectful and the purpose of the letter is clear. To further enhance the response, consider adding more specific details about the musical activities and the type of guidance sought from the singer.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized and easy to follow. The paragraphing is logical, and the flow of ideas is smooth. However, consider using more varied cohesive devices to further enhance the connection between sentences and paragraphs. For example, in the second paragraph, you could add a sentence that smoothly transitions from your concert experience to your personal musical background.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and conveys the message effectively. Phrases like 'top notch' and 'melodious session' are fitting. To enhance the lexical resource, try incorporating more specific and nuanced vocabulary related to music and performance. For instance, instead of 'didn't do well,' you could use more descriptive terms like 'received limited airplay' or 'failed to gain commercial traction.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a good command of grammar with only minor errors. While the sentences are generally accurate, varying the sentence structure could improve the overall flow and sophistication of the writing. For example, combine some shorter sentences or use more complex sentence structures to add depth to your expression. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and correct use of prepositions to eliminate minor errors.

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