Letter

Band 6+: All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor. Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter · give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience · explain what help you hope your mentor can give · suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

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Dear Sir,

I am writing to introduce myself as I joined your esteemed company, called ‘Infosys’, last week, and I would be grateful if you could support me in everyday tasks.

To begin with, I hold a Bachelor of Engineering in Information Technology from Panjab University, Chandigarh, which provided me with an intense knowledge in science and technology field. In addition, I have three years of work experience of Software Engineer in an IT company. My main responsibilities were to develop web applications, assist clients to solve their technical problems through communication and analytical skills.

I would appreciate it if you could facilitate me when multiple projects overlap. It avoid me from excessive stress, and meet deadlines, which help me to stay optimistic and productive. I hope the cooperative work environment would be more efficient if we make efforts on a daily basis.

I would like to meet you at our comapny’s cafe located on ground floor on next Monday at 10 am . It would be quite suitable for us because we can discuss every matter thoroughly, and share a cup of coffee together.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully,

Mohit Kumar

Word Count: 197

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

would: 5

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

Your letter covers all three required points: you introduce yourself with your studies and work experience, explain the help you hope for, and suggest a meeting arrangement. The tone is appropriate and the structure is clear. However, there are a few lapses: the opening is too generic ('Dear Sir') and does not address the mentor by name, which is expected in this context. Also, some phrasing is awkward or unclear (e.g., 'It avoid me from excessive stress' and 'I hope the cooperative work environment would be more efficient if we make efforts on a daily basis'). To improve, use a more personal salutation, clarify your request for help with specific examples, and ensure your sentences are grammatically accurate and natural. Additionally, check spelling (e.g., 'comapny' should be 'company').

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is logically organized into paragraphs, each addressing a specific point from the task. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between ideas. For example, the sentence 'It avoid me from excessive stress, and meet deadlines, which help me to stay optimistic and productive' is confusing and breaks the coherence. To improve, use clearer topic sentences and ensure each paragraph has a single clear focus. Additionally, the closing paragraph could be more concise and directly linked to the purpose of the meeting.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally appropriate for the context, with some good attempts at formal language (e.g., 'esteemed company', 'grateful', 'facilitate'). However, there are instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, such as 'intense knowledge' (should be 'in-depth knowledge') and 'facilitate me' (should be 'assist me' or 'help me'). The phrase 'cooperative work environment would be more efficient' is vague. To improve, use more precise and natural collocations, and avoid direct translations from your native language. Also, vary your vocabulary to avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors that affect clarity and accuracy. For example, 'It avoid me' should be 'It would avoid me' or 'It would help me avoid', and 'meet deadlines' should be 'meet deadlines' (subject-verb agreement). Also, 'on next Monday' should be 'next Monday' or 'on Monday'. The sentence 'I would like to meet you at our comapny's cafe located on ground floor on next Monday at 10 am' has a spelling error ('comapny') and missing article ('the ground floor'). To improve, review subject-verb agreement, use of articles, and prepositions. Additionally, vary sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical forms.

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