Letter

Band 6+: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods for you. You should write at least 150 words.

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to inquire whether you have a latest type of laptop for sale.

I am currently looking for a computer, which is called “Surface Pro Max”, I have searched at many shops. However, I haven’t been able to find it yet. I would like to ask if you have it or whether you could order it because you have some electronic devices in your store.

If you will be able to sell or order it, I would like to know how much it is in advance so that I could prepare a cash as you don’t accept a credit card.

Unfortunatelly, I am outside of town for my business, and I would not be visit your shop to receive it until next month. I would sincerely appreciate it if you could hold it for me for a few weeks. Please let me know whether you could keep it at your store, and how long you would be able to hold it.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your response.

Your sincerely,

Kazuho Murata

Word Count: 184

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

would: 5

could: 4

whether: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses all three main requirements: asking about availability/ordering, requesting prices, and asking about holding the goods. The tone is polite and appropriate. However, there are some lapses: the phrase 'a latest type of laptop' is awkward, and 'I would not be visit your shop' is grammatically incorrect. Also, the letter could be more specific about the model and clarify the payment method. To improve, ensure grammatical accuracy and provide more precise details about the item and your needs.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and minor lapses in cohesion (e.g., 'I have searched at many shops. However, I haven't been able to find it yet.' could be more smoothly connected). Paragraphing is adequate but could be improved by separating the inquiry about price and availability from the request to hold the item. Overall, the message is understandable but not effortless to follow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally appropriate for the task, with some good attempts at formal language (e.g., 'inquire', 'sincerely appreciate'). However, there are some inaccuracies and unnatural collocations (e.g., 'a latest type of laptop', 'prepare a cash', 'outside of town for my business'). The range of vocabulary is limited, and more precise terms could be used (e.g., 'electrical goods' instead of 'electronic devices'). Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors and awkward structures that affect clarity. Examples include: 'I would not be visit your shop' (incorrect verb form), 'Unfortunatelly' (spelling), 'If you will be able to sell' (incorrect conditional), and 'a latest type' (article usage). The letter uses a mix of simple and complex sentences, but the frequent errors reduce the overall accuracy. Punctuation is mostly correct, but the errors in grammar and word choice are noticeable.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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