Bar Chart

Band 4+: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task The chart shows the proportion of people in a UK survey carried out in three diﬀerent years who said they were interested in certain sports. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task The chart shows the proportion of people in a UK survey carried out in three diﬀerent years who said they were interested in certain sports. Write at least 150 words.

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The image shows horizontal bar graphs for six activities, with data from three years: for foot, 45 in 2005, 36 in 2000, 35 in 1995; for swim, 36 in 2005, 25 in 2000, 22 in 1995; for rugby, 34 in 2005, 30 in 2000, 26 in 1995; for snooker, 32 in 2005, 28 in 2000, 20 in 1995; for tennis, 32 in 2005, 28 in 2000, 30 in 1995; for golf, 28 in 2005, 16 in 2000, 15 in 1995.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The provided graph delineates the paradigm shift in survey carried out in 6 different kinds of sports including foot, swimming, rugby, snooker, tennis and golf, measured proportions, over a span of three diverse years by UK nation. What stands out from the data highlighted is foot sports which eclipsed all other counterparts among three given years.

It is immediately apparent that while tennis reached a plateau in both former two years, the metrics for rugby registered a marginal dip. However, notably in last year while tennis surged phenomenally with 28, rugby increased respectively to 25.

Initiating the analysis with snooker, its figures commenced at 23 at the first, before falling from it to 21 over the subsequent years. Ultimately, it commanded the lion’s share to 30.

In stark contrast to this upward trajectory, the percentage for golf accounted for a mere fraction of the total. As its contribution was 15, 16 and 18.

The figures for swimming stood at second position respectively initially, after that, nevertheless it underscore a clear growth, there was a marginal decrease at last.

Word Count: 178

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

rugby: 3

tennis: 3

years: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but struggles with accuracy and clarity. There are significant issues with data reporting; for instance, the trends described for several sports (such as snooker and tennis) do not align with the provided visual description, and some sentences contain contradictory information. Additionally, the use of sophisticated vocabulary (e.g., 'paradigm shift', 'eclipsed all other counterparts', 'commanded the lion's share') is often inappropriate for the context or used incorrectly, which obscures the meaning. To improve, focus on accurately describing the trends shown in the data and ensure that the relationship between the numbers and the years is clear and logical. Avoid using overly complex idioms if they do not precisely fit the data being presented.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logical progression of the data. While you attempt to use cohesive devices (e.g., 'In stark contrast', 'Ultimately'), they are often used incorrectly or in ways that do not logically connect the ideas. For instance, the transition between the discussion of tennis/rugby and snooker feels abrupt. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that your linking words accurately reflect the relationship between the sentences (e.g., using 'however' only when showing a true contradiction).

Lexical Resource

There is an attempt to use sophisticated vocabulary (e.g., 'delineates', 'eclipsed', 'lion's share'), but many words are used inaccurately or in inappropriate contexts, which obscures meaning. For example, 'paradigm shift' and 'UK nation' are not natural collocations in this context. Additionally, some word choices are confusing, such as 'foot sports' instead of 'football' or 'interest in football'. Focus on using precise, academic vocabulary that fits the context of data description rather than trying to use complex words for their own sake.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that impact clarity. There are issues with sentence structure, particularly with fragments (e.g., 'As its contribution was 15, 16 and 18.') and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'before falling from it to 21'). Tense usage and prepositional accuracy also need attention. To improve, practice writing complex sentences using subordinate clauses correctly and ensure that every sentence contains a complete thought with a subject and a verb.

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