Letter

Band 7+: You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter say what you have learned in your present job suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department explain why you do not wish to leave the company

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Dear Mr Perera,

As you may know, I’ve been very happy during my time at Simplebooks and I can feel that I have a lot more to learn from the processes in the company. I have learned how to sell, communicate and address the customers needs from my current sales position. I believe I have mastered the skill well and I need to learn further more. Due to this, I’ve been thinking about moving to the digital marketing department from my current position at the sales department.

During the past few months I’ve been developing my skills further in the digital marketing spectrum after work because I find it really interesting to see how our company has grown online. I want to be a part of it and I believe my new skills in paid media, social media management, content creation and strategic knowledge will help our company grow further. I’ve been pursuing a diploma in digital marketing in the meantime too.

Seeing how the company has grown during the past two years I believe that Simplebooks is the best place for me to gain industry knowledge and also to develop my career. I have no intention to leave the company because I am really excited about the journey and being able to grow with the company. So, I would like to kindly request from you to give me the opportunity to switch departments. Hope to hear from you soon.

Best Regards,

Thisura.

Word Count: 243

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

company: 6

believe: 3

further: 3

digital: 3

marketing: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter comprehensively addresses all aspects of the task, clearly outlining the writer's experience, the benefits to the company, and the reasons for wanting to stay. The content is well-organized and persuasive, demonstrating a strong command of language and fulfilling the task requirements effectively.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized and the purpose is clear. The progression of ideas is logical, moving from current skills to desired development and reasons for staying with the company. To improve coherence, consider using more explicit transition phrases between paragraphs to guide the reader more smoothly through your reasoning. For example, you could start the second paragraph with 'Furthermore' or 'In addition to my current role'.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and conveys the message effectively. There's room to enhance the lexical resource by incorporating more specific and varied vocabulary related to sales, digital marketing, and career development. For instance, instead of 'address the customers needs,' you could use 'cater to customer preferences' or 'resolve customer inquiries.' Also, vary the language used to describe your enthusiasm for the company; instead of repeatedly using 'grow,' consider alternatives like 'advance,' 'flourish,' or 'expand'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a good command of grammar, though there are a few areas where accuracy could be improved. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and correct tense usage. For example, 'I need to learn further more' could be improved to 'I need to learn even more' or 'I need to further my learning.' Proofreading carefully before submission can help catch these minor errors. Also, ensure correct use of prepositions and articles throughout the letter.

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