Letter

Band 4+: You want to join a local sports club to improve your fitness and meet new people. Write a letter to the club secretary. You should include: - why you want to join the club - what sports you are interested in - any relevant experience you have

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Good day Secretary,

I am writing this letter to inform you that i am Juncent Relampagos, currently live here in New York City for a new job. And i am looking for local sports club here in New York City.

In that sense, i noticed that you have a sports local club here. And i am one who is willing to join sports activies. May i request the information of your club if what sports acitivities you offer? And, i just want to know if there’s a membership fee or not, and how much it is? I am asking also the whole training schedules of the activities.

Lastly, i am a beginner to join. May i know if i am able to team up with you as n newbee or i need more experience to enter your club?

If you notice this letter, Please contact me this through email relampagosjuncent@gmail.com or you can reach me also through my telephone number +1234567890

I hope your kind response. Thank you.

Yours truly,

Juncent Relampagos

Word Count: 172

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sports: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the task, which is a positive aspect of the response. However, the development of these points is somewhat repetitive and the tone is slightly inconsistent. While the purpose of the letter is clear, the phrasing is often awkward (e.g., 'If you notice this letter' or 'I am one who is willing to join'). To improve, focus on using more natural, professional collocations and varied sentence structures. Instead of asking a series of short, repetitive questions, try to group your inquiries into more cohesive paragraphs. For example, you could combine the questions about fees and schedules into a single, well-structured paragraph regarding administrative details.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter follows the required structure by addressing all three bullet points, which helps the reader follow the intent. However, the progression is somewhat disjointed due to repetitive sentence structures and awkward transitions (e.g., 'In that sense'). To improve, use a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next. Avoid starting too many sentences with 'And' or 'I', as this makes the writing feel fragmented.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and functional, but there is a lack of variety and precision. There are several spelling errors (e.g., 'activies', 'acitivities', 'newbee') and informal terms like 'newbee' that are not appropriate for a formal letter to a club secretary. Aim to use more professional synonyms; for example, instead of 'newbee', use 'beginner' or 'novice', and instead of 'I am one who is willing to join', use 'I am interested in joining'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede the clarity of the message. There are issues with capitalization (e.g., 'i' instead of 'I'), sentence fragments, and incorrect word order (e.g., 'if what sports acitivities you offer'). Additionally, some phrases are ungrammatical, such as 'I hope your kind response'. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and practicing the correct use of relative clauses and indirect questions.

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Band 4+: You want to join a local sports club to improve your fitness and meet new people. Write a letter to the club secretary. You should include: - why you want to join the club - what sports you are interested in - any relevant experience you have

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

You want to join a local sports club to improve your fitness and meet new people. Write a letter to the club secretary. You should include: – why you want to join the club – what sports you are interested in – any relevant experience you have

You want to join a local sports club to improve your fitness and meet new people. Write a letter to the club secretary. You should include: – why you want to join the club – what sports you are interested in – any relevant experience you have

You want to join a local sports club to improve your fitness and meet new people. Write a letter to the club secretary. You should include: – why you want to join the club – what sports you are interested in – any relevant experience you have

You want to join a local sports club to improve your fitness and meet new people. Write a letter to the club secretary. You should include: – why you want to join the club – what sports you are interested in – any relevant experience you have

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