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Letter

Band 9: You want to join a local sports club to improve your fitness and meet new people. Write a letter to the club secretary. You should include: - why you want to join the club - what sports you are interested in - any relevant experience you have

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing to inquire about your local sports and hobby club, as I am interested in joining and would like to obtain some additional information before becoming a member.

To begin with, I would appreciate it if you could let me know what kinds of activities your club offers. I enjoy both indoor and outdoor activities, particularly badminton, table tennis, and photography. I would also like to know whether there are any weekend events or group activities for members.

In addition, I would be grateful if you could provide details about the membership fees. Please let me know if there are different membership plans, such as monthly or annual subscriptions, and whether there are any discounts for students. I would also like to know the weekly schedule of activities so that I can decide which sessions would suit my availability.

Finally, I would like to ask whether your club offers introductory or trial sessions for new members. As I have not been part of a sports club before, attending a trial session would help me become familiar with the facilities and activities before committing to a membership.

Thank you for your time and assistance. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully,

Rathish K

Word Count: 217

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Overall Band Score

9
(+/- 0.5)
Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.
Grammar Mistakes: N/A
Vocabulary Repetition:
would: 8
activities: 5
before: 3
whether: 3
there: 3
Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

9
The letter fully addresses all parts of the task. Each bullet point is expanded upon with relevant, specific details that make the inquiry feel realistic and well-developed. The tone is consistently formal and appropriate for a letter to a club manager, and the structure is logical with clear paragraphing. No improvements are necessary as the requirements of the task are perfectly satisfied.

Coherence & Cohesion

9
The letter is exceptionally well-organized. You have used cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'In addition', and 'Finally' effectively to guide the reader through each bullet point of the task. The paragraphing is logical, with each paragraph dedicated to a specific requirement of the prompt, making the message effortless to follow.

Lexical Resource

8
The vocabulary used is precise, natural, and appropriate for a formal inquiry. Phrases such as 'inquire about', 'obtain some additional information', 'monthly or annual subscriptions', and 'committing to a membership' demonstrate a high level of lexical control. There is no unnecessary repetition, and the tone remains consistently professional throughout. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

9
The grammatical structures are varied and used with full flexibility. You successfully employed complex sentence structures, such as conditional clauses ('I would appreciate it if...') and subordinate clauses, without any errors. Punctuation is used correctly to enhance readability. The letter is virtually error-free.

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