Letter

Band 5+: You work for a large multinational company. There is a new position opening in your department. Write to the manager of your department and apply for that position. In the letter, -Describe who you are and your current role -Explain why you would like to apply for a new position -Suggest what you want the manager to do

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Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter regarding a new position opening in my department in which I would like to apply.

Firstly, my name is Yuvraj Singh, and my card number is 09876. I am working in sales department where not only I manage orders but also statatics while shipping as well as recerving. Moreover, during group projects being a good leader I motivate teammates well.

Secondly, I would like to get senior position in sales department because not only I will earn better salary but also I will improve social skills such as communication and the leadership qualities.

In addition to this, I would like to suggest that experienced and qualified employee should be hired by manager because hard working employees are suitable for salesman position. Finally, I am confident that manager will get this position.

I look forward to hearing from you at yours earliest convenience.

Yours faithfully,

Word Count: 151

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

position: 3

department: 3

would: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the requirements of the task, but there are some areas for improvement. The letter clearly states the writer's interest in the new position and provides some reasons for their application. However, the letter could benefit from more specific details about the writer's qualifications and experience, and the suggestions to the manager could be more concrete. To improve, focus on providing more detailed and relevant information to fully satisfy the task requirements.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is generally clear, but the flow between ideas could be smoother. Consider using more transitional phrases to connect your points and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-defined idea. For example, in the second paragraph, clearly state your reasons for wanting the new position before elaborating on the benefits. In the final paragraph, the connection between the suggestion about hiring experienced employees and your own application could be clearer.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room to enhance it with more specific and professional language. For instance, instead of 'earn better salary,' you could say 'achieve a higher compensation.' Also, avoid informal language. Using more precise vocabulary will make your letter more impactful.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles and prepositions. For example, 'statatics while shipping as well as recerving' needs correction. Proofread carefully to eliminate these errors and improve the overall quality of your writing. Also, the final sentence 'Finally, I am confident that manager will get this position' is unclear and needs rephrasing.

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