Letter

Band 6+: You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost. You do NOT need to write any address. You should write at least 150 words.

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Dear Mr. Jon,

My name is Mel, and I am a manager in noodle division.

I am writing this letter to inform that I would like to participate in sales seminar in Thailand next month; however, I need to know some detailed information about joining the seminar.

I need the exact date the seminar will be held because I need to set a schedule. What kind of topic would be presented, how can an employees go there; based on company regulation or personal. I am willing to go there if there is no sponsored from the company. I also need information about the cost for registration.

This seminar I think would be beneficial for me and I can gain a lot of knowledge from speakers and participants. I can ask and hear some stories from experts from another country. I can promote our product to potential participants also.

I am await your reply at your convenience!

Regards,

Mel

Word Count: 158

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

would: 3

seminar: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task requirements by requesting information about the seminar's dates, program, accommodation, and cost. However, the letter could be improved by including a direct question about accommodation. Also, the tone is generally appropriate, but could be more formal and professional in places. For example, rephrasing sentences like "What kind of topic would be presented, how can an employees go there; based on company regulation or personal" to be more direct and clear would enhance the letter.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent, but the organization could be improved. Group related questions together to enhance flow. For example, consolidate all inquiries about the seminar's logistics (dates, program, cost) into a single paragraph. Also, ensure a smoother transition between the request for information and the explanation of why you want to attend.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement. Try to use more specific and varied language to express your interest and inquiries. For instance, instead of 'I need to know,' consider using phrases like 'I would appreciate details regarding' or 'I require clarification on.' Also, replace 'go there' with a more formal alternative.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and article usage ('the,' 'a,' 'an'). For example, 'noodle division' should be 'the noodle division,' and 'an employees' should be 'employees'. Also, review sentence structure to avoid run-on sentences and ensure each sentence conveys a clear and concise message.

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Band 6+: You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost. You do NOT need to write any address. You should write at least 150 words.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost. You do NOT need to write any address. You should write at least 150 words.

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