Letter

Band 4+: You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter: explain why you want to reduce your working hours say which hours you would like to work describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Dear Sir / Madam,

I am writing this letter to inform you that I want to take Chinese study part time, because I am planning to take higher education and improve my career. Therefore I want to reduce my working hours because it’s hard to manage my time.

Currently I only can work in your place about 6 hours not like the usual. I will inform you the schedule of my study part time so you can arrange my working schedule, then our schedule don’t clash.

However, my part time study have many beneficial such as improving my knowledge, increase cultural insight, train cognitive skill, keep my memory sharp, building wider relationship with other people. In addition, I can communicate with foreign people so if there is foreign people come to your store I can cater it and give the best service.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

Michell.

Word Count: 152

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

study: 3

schedule: 3

people: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses all three prompts, but the development of the ideas is limited and lacks sufficient detail. While you mention why you want to study and how it benefits the employer, the explanation of your preferred working hours is vague; instead of proposing a specific schedule (e.g., 'I would like to work from 9 AM to 3 PM'), you simply state that you can only work 6 hours and will provide a schedule later. To improve, you should provide specific details for each bullet point to ensure the response is fully developed. Additionally, ensure that your tone remains professional throughout, as some phrasing is slightly too informal for a letter to a boss.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter follows the required structure by addressing all three bullet points, which helps the reader follow the intent. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat abrupt. To improve, use more sophisticated cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'Consequently,' or 'Regarding my proposed schedule') instead of starting sentences with 'Therefore' or 'However' in ways that do not fully align with the logic of the preceding sentence. Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively used to separate the explanation, the proposal, and the benefits.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is functional but quite basic and repetitive (e.g., using 'part time' and 'people' multiple times). There are also issues with word forms, such as using 'beneficial' (an adjective) where 'benefits' (a noun) is required. To reach a higher band, try to use more professional business collocations, such as 'pursue further studies,' 'professional development,' or 'enhance my skill set.' Instead of 'foreign people,' consider 'international customers' or 'non-native speakers.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally hinder the flow of reading. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'study have' instead of 'studies have'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'increase' instead of 'increasing' in a list), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'I can cater it'). There is also a lack of complex sentence structures. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction, particularly in ensuring that lists follow parallel structure (e.g., 'improving..., increasing..., training...') and that verb tenses are used consistently.

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