Positive And Negative

Band 6+: ⸻ In recent years, more and more people and organisations are using digital technology for contact with other people. Do you think this has been a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

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Nowadays, digital technology is used to connect people with each other more and more. From my opinion, I believe that this has been a positive development, and this essay will present various reasons.

On the one hand, the first reason I think this has been a positive is that people are so busy worrying about their life that they don’t have time to meet the other people and share their immediate stories. And digital technology has been very helpful in this regard, allowing people to communicate with each other anytime, anywhere, enabling them to instantly share funny and sad stories without any waiting. The second reason is that, thanks to digital technology, people can stay in touch with each other even when travel is restricted. For example, COVID-19, the whole country implemented self-isolation, but thanks to modern technology, people were still follow the health of their family and the development of the disease.

One the other hand, even though digital technology has provided a great deal of benefits, however, there are some negative development. Firstly, people can become dependent on social media, meaning they are extroverted on their phones but introverted in real life. Secondly, digital technology has the potential to be addictive because entertainment apps; people can spend hours glued to these devices, forgetting about time and important tasks.

In conclusion, digital technology has been provided both benefits and damages. I believe that the positives outweigh the negatives.

Word Count: 239

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 8

technology: 7

digital: 6

other: 5

their: 4

development: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The main ideas are relevant, but there could be more focus and precision in supporting them. To improve, consider developing your ideas more fully with specific examples and explanations. Also, ensure a balanced discussion by elaborating on both positive and negative aspects with equal depth. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized with a clear structure, including an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both positive and negative aspects, and a conclusion. The use of cohesive devices is adequate but could be improved to enhance the flow of ideas. For instance, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively. While the paragraphing is logical, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, clear idea to maintain coherence.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise and sophisticated. For example, using more specific vocabulary related to technology and its impact could enhance the essay. While the vocabulary is generally appropriate, expanding the range and using more nuanced language would improve the overall impression. Focus on incorporating synonyms and idiomatic expressions where appropriate to demonstrate a greater command of the English language. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are noticeable grammatical errors that affect clarity. Errors in article usage, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure are present. While the overall meaning is understandable, correcting these errors would significantly improve the essay's grammatical accuracy. Focus on proofreading carefully to identify and correct grammatical mistakes. Varying sentence structure more intentionally could also enhance the essay's complexity and sophistication.

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