Opinion

Band 4+: 📝TASK 2: Some professionals, such as teachers and doctors, make a greater contribution to society so should be paid more than sport athletes and entertainment stars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

See all user-written essays on this topic

Skyrocket your IELTS band score by 1-2 points in under a month with our premium plan!

Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

Professional employees like doctors, nurses and teachers contribute more to the nation, so athletes and musicians should paid less than these workers. Although workers with higher workload make a greater contribution to society, I believe people at sports and entertainment personalities paid not from government, but from endorsement.

Admittedly, professionals like doctors, nurses and teachers can be under pressure while making huge contribution to society. Staff from medicine and education places may study half of their life in those fields for high salary or they may follow their dreams from childhood for those jobs. If government’s subsidies paid more for those workers, there may be less stress for doctors and teachers and less pressure in their workload.

Nevertheless, athletes always make a huge amount of money from their contracts or may pay from their sponsors. Government would not pay for sportspersons or poets for several reasons, but athletes and musicians always make a lot of attractions. Take khusanov as an example, he plays in the best league in the world in Manchester city, so many people may know him and know that he is from Uzbekistan. As a result, tourists can visit this country and government can improve their roads and can create job opportunities for local people.

In conclusion, people who work in medicine and education field may paid more than sports and entertainment personalities due to their hard work and pressure at their workload, I believe musicians and athletes like footballers make more benefits and attractions for gov

ernment.

Word Count: 251

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Check My Essay

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Generate A Sample

Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 8

athletes: 4

doctors: 3

teachers: 3

musicians: 3

workers: 3

people: 3

government: 3

pressure: 3

those: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a position, but the development of ideas is inconsistent and sometimes lacks logical clarity. While you attempt to contrast the funding sources (government vs. private endorsements), the connection to the core question of 'who should be paid more' is not fully explored. For instance, the argument that athletes bring tourism is a valid point about their value, but it does not clearly resolve whether their high salaries are justified compared to doctors or teachers. To improve, ensure that every paragraph directly supports your central argument. Instead of just stating how athletes are paid, explain why that method of payment justifies their higher income (or why it doesn't). Additionally, work on grammatical accuracy, particularly regarding passive voice (e.g., 'should be paid' instead of 'should paid') and subject-verb agreement, to ensure your ideas are communicated clearly.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes difficult to follow due to logical leaps. For instance, the connection between a specific athlete's fame and the government's ability to improve roads is a bit of a stretch and could be explained more clearly. To improve, focus on using more cohesive devices (linking words) to show the relationship between sentences and ensure each paragraph has one clear, central topic sentence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is sufficient to convey basic ideas, but it is quite repetitive (e.g., using 'make a huge contribution' or 'make a lot of attractions' multiple times). There are also instances of imprecise word choices, such as 'medicine and education places' instead of 'medical and educational institutions.' To reach a higher band, aim to use a wider range of synonyms and more sophisticated collocations related to the topic of economics and social value. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede the reader's understanding. There are significant issues with passive voice construction (e.g., 'should paid less' instead of 'should be paid less' and 'may paid more' instead of 'may be paid more'). There are also errors in subject-verb agreement and sentence structure. I recommend reviewing the rules for passive voice, modal verbs, and complex sentence construction to ensure clarity and accuracy.

Essays On The Same Topic:

📝TASK 2: Some professionals, such as teachers and doctors, make a greater contribution to society so should be paid more than sport athletes and entertainment stars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

On the one hand, professional workers like nurses, doctors, and teachers make greater contribution to society . Firstly doctors and nurses save life’s and improve peoples health . For example, in some hospitals nurses work for low income with full shift despite the fact that their work are stressful and require patient .Teachers play essential […]

Band 5+

📝TASK 2: Some professionals, such as teachers and doctors, make a greater contribution to society so should be paid more than sport athletes and entertainment stars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that many professional jobs such as doctors, nurses and teacher play an vital role in society, so they should be rewarded rather than sports and entertainment celebrities . While I acknowledge that this view has some merits, I largely agree with it for several reasons. It is understandable why some people believe […]

Band 5+

📝TASK 2: Some professionals, such as teachers and doctors, make a greater contribution to society so should be paid more than sport athletes and entertainment stars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is an ongoing debate that doctors and teachers create a greater contribution to society than people employing in sports and entertainment platforms, while in this purposes they should be pain more than others. I totally agree with this statement. On the one hand, doctors and teachers play a crucial role in our society. There […]

Band 4+

📝TASK 2: Some professionals, such as teachers and doctors, make a greater contribution to society so should be paid more than sport athletes and entertainment stars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Historically, professionals such as teachers, doctors, and nurses have played a central role in developing a well-rounded society. While some maintain that such experts should be valued and paid more compared to sports and entertainment icons, I partly agree with this opinion as the work of sports and entertainment coaches result in emotional and physical […]

Band 7+

See All

some people believe that learning a foreign language should be mandatory in schools .Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is suggested by some that foreign languages should be a part of primary school education while others believe that it should be taught later in life. In my opinion, children should not be pressurized to learn a new language at an early age, instead they should be given an option to learn that once […]

Band 5+

Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

People hold contrasting opinions regarding the competitiveness existed in academic institutions. While some believe competitive schools affect negatively students, others support that these institutions have positive impacts on the learners. This essay will discuss both perspectives before explainig why learning in friendlier environments prepare better learners for their future. Individuals who support learning in more […]

Band 6+

In many countries, governments spend significant recources on promoting national culture through festivals, museums, and public television programs. What are the advantages and diadvantages of governments promoting national culture?

In many parts of the world, governments spend significant amount of money on the development of national culture such as festivals, concerts, museums, and public television programs. While this trend provide citizens a wider range of knowledge about their culture and it have a significant impact on traditional tourism of that country, it also may […]

Band 6+

THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD SPEND MONEY ON TRAINS RATHER THAN ROADS

Public transport plays a significant role in modern society and has become a widely discussed topic. Some people argue that the government should spend money on trains rather than roads. I partially agree with this assertion as trains provide clear environmental benefits by reducing carbon emissions and roads remain indispensable for regional connectivity and economic […]

Band 7+

Large shopping malls are replacing small local shops in many cities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this change?

Nowadays, in many cities large shopping malls are becoming more popular and replacing traditional small shops. While this development has some great benefits for customers it also brings several serious disadvantages for local communities. The main benefit of large shopping malls is convenience for customers. Malls gather many different types of stores supermarkets restaurants and […]

Band 7+

See All

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

Other Topics:

Plans & Pricing

Free

Premium