Opinion

Band 5+: Animal testing for medical research is never justified. Do you agree or disagree?

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Globally, the usage of animals as object experimentation for scientific and medical research are being necessary. I totally agree with the usage of the animal in experimentation due to it will help to find new medicine for humans from dangerous diseases and determine safe dosages for themselves.

The way to breakthrough scientific and medical research to find new medicine often involves the usage of animals in the experimentation. This is because it could lead to generating side effects that could be dangerous if applied directly to humans and the animal used must be biologically comparable to. For example, in 2020 the development of vaccine COVID 19 used animals like mice and monkeys as objects to get the first sample of the vaccine. Therefore, the new medicine like Moderna that has been tested will be safe enough to be applied to humans to beat the dangerous diseases COVID 19.

Moreover, the new medicine for animal diseases can be dangerous without safe dosages. This is because it will cause negative side effects like paralysis and death. To determine safe dosages, the scientists require animal-based testing with the variation of age and gender. They will observe which dosage with minimal negative effect and the object being recovered faster. To illustrate, cats and dogs with variation of ages are being collected to be used as the first object to get the Rabies vaccine. As a result, the Rabies vaccine that was already tested can be available for the animals with the following safe dosages.

To conclude, the animal usage for object experimentation should be acceptable. This will be beneficial for scientific and medical research breakthroughs such as finding new medicine and determining safe dosages.

Word Count: 280

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

medicine: 5

usage: 4

animals: 4

object: 4

experimentation: 4

animal: 4

dangerous: 4

dosages: 4

vaccine: 4

scientific: 3

medical: 3

research: 3

being: 3

humans: 3

diseases: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position of agreement. The main ideas are relevant and supported with examples, such as the COVID-19 vaccine and rabies vaccine. However, the development of ideas could be more precise and focused. For instance, the first body paragraph could more clearly explain why animals are necessary, and the second paragraph could better link the dosage determination to the broader argument. Additionally, there are some grammatical and lexical inaccuracies that slightly affect clarity. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that examples are directly tied to the argument. Also, refine language for greater precision and coherence.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The main ideas are presented logically, and the use of examples helps to support the arguments. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors, which can make the message harder to follow. The linking between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother, and the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and a logical progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts at more sophisticated terms such as 'breakthrough', 'biologically comparable', and 'negative side effects'. However, there are several instances of imprecise or awkward word choices, such as 'object experimentation' and 'the object being recovered faster'. The phrasing often sounds unnatural, and there is some repetition of words like 'usage' and 'experimentation'. To improve, aim for more precise and varied vocabulary, and pay attention to collocations and natural phrasing. For example, use 'test subjects' instead of 'objects', and 'recover more quickly' instead of 'being recovered faster'. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a number of grammatical errors that affect clarity and accuracy. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'usage ... are being necessary'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'due to it will help'), and awkward sentence structures. Punctuation is also sometimes incorrect, and there are run-on sentences. The range of grammatical structures is limited, with a tendency to use simple sentences and repetitive patterns. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules, such as subject-verb agreement and tense consistency, and try to incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. Proofreading for punctuation and sentence boundaries is also recommended.

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