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Band 6+: Economic progress is one way to measure the success of a country. Some people believe there are other factors. What other factors should be considered? Of these other factors, one is the more important than others?

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In modern society, a country’s development is often judged by its economic growth. However, many individuals argue that sports are equally important. This essay will provide detailed explanations and examples in favour of economic progress.

The other way to see a country’s success is sports achievement. Sport is a competitive game that presents a country on the global arena. Countries all over the world send their best candidates to Olympic games, in order to prove their skills and win the medal. For example, Argentina has experienced significant issues in the economic system for many decades. Regardless of those problems, the country remains the powerhouse in football. One of the greatest footballers from Argentina is Lionel Messi who was awarded with several balloon doors.

Nevertheless, from my perspective, economic development is still the main indicator of a country’s position. Firstly, spheres such as sports, medicine, and education are fully dependent on economic progress. Secondly, with an exceptional economy, citizen’s well-being and the county’s quality of life are improving. For example, Japan chose advancements towards economy over the focus on sports development. As a result, it has the top-tier economy in the world. Despite this, the country has notable achievements in baseball and sumo.

In summary, there are a lot of factors that may represent a country’s success such as sports. Notwithstanding, I reckon that economic development remains the superior aspect of a country’s accomplishment.

Word Count: 233

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

economic: 6

country's: 5

sports: 5

development: 4

country: 3

economy: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a clear position. However, there could be more focus and precision in supporting ideas. To improve, consider providing more in-depth explanations and a wider range of examples to strengthen your arguments. Also, ensure that the connections between your examples and the main points are explicitly stated. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates an adequate arrangement of information and ideas, with a discernible overall structure. However, the progression of ideas could be smoother, and the connections between sentences and paragraphs could be more explicitly established to enhance coherence. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The essay showcases a sufficient range of vocabulary to express ideas, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise and nuanced. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using more sophisticated language to convey your points with greater clarity and impact. Also, pay attention to using collocations and idiomatic expressions appropriately.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are noticeable and occasionally impede understanding. To enhance grammatical range and accuracy, concentrate on mastering a wider array of grammatical structures and ensuring consistent accuracy in your writing. Pay close attention to verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of articles and prepositions.

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Band 6+: Economic progress is one way to measure the success of a country. Some people believe there are other factors. What other factors should be considered? Of these other factors, one is the more important than others?

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Essays On The Same Topic:

Economic progress is one way to measure the success of a country. Some people believe there are other factors. What other factors should be considered? Of these other factors, one is the more important than others?

Economic progress is one way to measure the success of a country. Some people believe there are other factors. What other factors should be considered? Of these other factors, one is the more important than others?

Economic progress is one way to measure the success of a country. Some people believe there are other factors. What other factors should be considered? Of these other factors, one is the more important than others?

Economic progress is one way to measure the success of a country. Some people believe there are other factors. What other factors should be considered? Of these other factors, one is the more important than others?

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