Opinion

Band 4+: Government should spend more money on education than sports. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples.

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Government should mainu fouse on spending more liquidity on education rather than sport activities. I agree with tht statement. My justification will be provided in the upcoming paragraphs along with relevant examlpes.

To begin with, one of the predominantly reason why government should spend more money on education is to make citizen educated. To explain, education is common right for people, therefore, it is very nesscary for tham to complete it. Unlike ,sport, not many individuals are intersted in it. Therefore, Government should spend more on education. As a result, that nation’s people will get educated. As a result, there are might more chances to get employed when they finish their study.

Furthermore, another major reason why government should spend more money education because that directly affect that nation feature. To articulate, if government give priori to education in terms,better infrastructure,better teacher and provid better equipment. Due to that, children will be pay more attenction to study. Consequently, They might get their dream job in the feature. As a result, the more people get educated, the more nation litarcy rate will rose. That directly affect nation GNP. As an effect that nation GDP will grow. For example, in state of Tamill nodu in india, the authrity spend their most of budget on education as compare to other state of india. Due to that Tamill nodu have litarcy rate of 96%. Therefore, they have lowest employment compare to other state of india.

In conclusion, I believe that government should defenitaly spend more money of education rathertan sport becuuse , by spending more money on education, people get educated, therefore, in feature they have higher chances to get employed.

Word Count: 277

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

education: 9

government: 6

should: 5

spend: 5

money: 4

educated: 4

people: 4

therefore: 4

nation: 4

sport: 3

result: 3

their: 3

feature: 3

state: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position (agreeing that government should spend more on education than sports). However, the development of ideas is limited and lacks clarity. The main arguments are relevant but are not fully extended or supported with specific, well-explained examples. There is some repetition and the conclusion is brief. To improve, focus on developing each main idea with more detailed explanation and concrete examples, ensure logical progression of ideas, and proofread to reduce spelling and grammatical errors that affect clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the flow is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between ideas. The use of cohesive devices is repetitive (e.g., 'As a result' is overused) and sometimes inaccurate. Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively managed to separate distinct points. To improve, focus on creating smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs, and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea with supporting details that logically follow.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some attempts at more formal language (e.g., 'predominantly reason', 'liquidity' for money) but these are often misused or awkward. There are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'mainu', 'fouse', 'examlpes', 'nesscary', 'intersted', 'feature' for future, 'litarcy', 'authrity', 'becuuse') and incorrect word choices (e.g., 'sport activities' instead of 'sports', 'common right' instead of 'fundamental right'). To improve, expand your vocabulary range, use words accurately in context, and proofread to eliminate spelling errors. Avoid direct translation from your first language. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that significantly impede understanding. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'one of the predominantly reason'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'will be pay', 'will rose'), missing articles (e.g., 'to make citizen educated'), and incorrect prepositions (e.g., 'spend more money education'). Punctuation is often missing or misused (e.g., 'Unlike ,sport,'). The range of grammatical structures is limited, with most sentences being simple or compound. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of articles and prepositions. Practice writing more complex sentences with subordinate clauses, and always proofread for punctuation and grammar.

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