Cause And Solution

Band 5+: In many coastal communities, the rapid expansion of tourism has led to the degradation of local ecosystems and loss of traditional livelihoods. What are the main causes of this problem, and what solutions can be implemented to ensure sustainable tourism development?

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The growth of tourism resulted in the deterioration of local environment and a loss of cultural identity in many coastal nations. The main reasons of these problems are a disparage way that travellers treat nature and an upward trend of marrying between citizens and tourists. Particular policies such as a punishment of thus who make pollution and a limit on marriage with visitors should be implemented in order to address these issues.

Most of the tourists tend to spread a garbage and smoke during their vacations. As a result, cleaning stuff sometimes cannot keep up with it and air becomes heavy to breath, leading to poor ecosytem. However, if local authorities make a law where pollutors will obtain penalties or even a ban on entering a country, the issue can be mitigated. After some time nature will restore and reposing conditions can become more attractives for visitors.

Due to the expansion of marriage between tourists and local people ethnicity is becoming mixed. Therefore, the concept of nation can be lost in this coastal country. By limiting the number of citizens whose spouse is from another nation, this problem can be solved. In other words, this policy will maintain the precent of newborns whose ethnic origin is of this country. As a consequence, the loss of identity will not transcend the threshold when it will be already impossible to change anything.

To sum up, a couple of exclusive policies, including a punnishment of pollutors and a limit on marriage, ought to be introduced in coastal countries in order to preserve its environmental and culural conditions.

Word Count: 264

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

local: 3

coastal: 3

tourists: 3

marriage: 3

country: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by identifying causes and suggesting solutions, but the development is limited and sometimes unclear. The position is present but not fully developed. The ideas are relevant but lack depth and precision. For improvement, focus on providing more detailed explanations and examples to support your points. Also, ensure that your solutions are practical and well-justified. Work on clarifying your arguments and avoiding vague or overly simplistic statements. Additionally, pay attention to grammar and vocabulary to enhance clarity and coherence.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear references (e.g., 'a disparage way that travellers treat nature' and 'an upward trend of marrying between citizens and tourists'). The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'However' in the second paragraph introduces a solution rather than a contrast). The paragraphing is adequate but could be improved by more logical linking between sentences and ideas.

Lexical Resource

The essay attempts to use a range of vocabulary, but there are several errors in word choice and collocation (e.g., 'disparage way' instead of 'disparaging way', 'cleaning stuff' instead of 'cleaning staff', 'reposing conditions' instead of 'resting conditions'). Some phrases are unnatural or unclear (e.g., 'the precent of newborns' instead of 'the percentage of newborns'). The vocabulary is not always precise, and there is limited use of sophisticated or topic-specific terms. However, the essay does show some flexibility in using different expressions.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a variety of sentence structures, but there are numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement ('the growth of tourism resulted' should be 'has resulted'), incorrect verb forms ('spread a garbage' should be 'spread garbage'), and misuse of articles ('a law where pollutors will obtain penalties' should be 'a law where polluters will receive penalties'). There are also spelling errors (e.g., 'ecosytem', 'punnishment', 'culural') and punctuation issues. While the errors do not completely obscure the meaning, they are frequent enough to require effort from the reader.

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