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Band 5+: In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays. What is the value of long school holidays? What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Across many countries, schools are closed for long holidays in summer, while long holidays provide many benefits to students, shouter school breaks also has some important advantages. This essay will discuss both views.

Starting with long holidays, these holidays are most important for teenage learners especially in Asian or Arab countries, because of excessive heat in summer. Sometimes weather is too hot, and schools have no basic facilities like air conditioning, especially in developing countries like Pakistan and India nation still deprived from basic facilities like electricity. So if parents send their children to school due to shortage of electricity students cannot survive in school especially when the temperature is too high this; may cause children to become ill or even sometimes cause death due to heatwaves. For instance heatwaves cause many deaths in Pakistan every summer.Therefore summer break is necessary for pupils.

On the other hand, long holidays also has some darwbacks, student cannot cover their syllabus, then students feel thenselves between the devil and the deep blue sea, so they burn candle at both ends to complete their syllabus, which is extremely challenging for learners.

The short leave is suitable for this problem, if schools provides basic services like fan or A/C it can help student to complete their work on time and they do not feel depressed. This is beneficial for both learners and schools.

At conclusion, if schools provide basic utilities to learners then a short holiday is best option, otherwise a long holidays is the only solution for learners to ensure their health safety.

Word Count: 259

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

holidays: 6

their: 5

schools: 4

learners: 4

basic: 4

countries: 3

summer: 3

students: 3

school: 3

especially: 3

cause: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing the value of long school holidays and arguments for shorter holidays. However, the development is limited and lacks clarity in places. The position is present but not consistently clear, and the supporting ideas are underdeveloped. For example, the argument about heat and lack of facilities is relevant but not fully explored, and the drawbacks of long holidays are mentioned but not well explained. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea with detailed explanation and examples. Also, work on grammar and vocabulary to enhance clarity and precision.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the flow is sometimes disrupted by abrupt transitions and unclear connections between ideas. For example, the shift from discussing the benefits of long holidays to their drawbacks is not smoothly managed. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'shouter' instead of 'shorter', 'At conclusion' instead of 'In conclusion'). To improve, use a wider range of linking words and phrases, and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logical progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses some appropriate vocabulary related to the topic (e.g., 'excessive heat', 'basic facilities', 'heatwaves'), but there are several lexical errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity (e.g., 'shouter school breaks', 'deprived from basic facilities', 'burn candle at both ends', 'between the devil and the deep blue sea'). The range of vocabulary is limited, and some expressions are informal or idiomatic but not used accurately. To improve, expand your vocabulary with more precise and formal terms, and practice using idiomatic expressions correctly. Also, avoid repetition and ensure word choice is appropriate for an academic essay. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect readability and accuracy. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'long holidays also has some drawbacks'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'students feel thenselves' should be 'students feel themselves'), and punctuation errors (e.g., missing commas, run-on sentences). The range of sentence structures is limited, with many simple and compound sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules, such as subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency, and practice using a variety of complex structures (e.g., conditional sentences, relative clauses). Additionally, proofread your work to correct punctuation and spelling errors.

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