Opinion

Band 5+: In many countries, there is a growing trend of people moving from rural areas to large cities in search of better opportunities. This rural-urban migration is causing several problems for both the cities and the countryside. What are the primary issues arising from this migration, and what steps can governments and communities take to mitigate these negative effects?

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In recent decades, most of public are moving to urban areas from rural side. The causes and impacts will be discussed in following paragraphs.

Discussing the contributing factors, the most evident one is lack of education. To justify it further, in countryside there are less number of schools and collages due to people leave villages migrating in city for higher education. In addition, the education method, facilities and faculties are not much good in postoral. For instance, After HSC students need to move in city for bachelors and masters. Anther factor is lack of jobs. To be more precise, in countryside there is no high package jobs are available. On top of that society want to work in big companies that is the only reason they shift.

Meanwhile, there are plenty of outcomes related to this situation. The most significant one is society become more mature and educated. To be more specific, if people make a move to developed area that means they are developing superior skills. Community learns general awareness by leaving with educated society, working with mature employees. One example is a girl who comes from small town for their advance qualification and here she meets diffrent friends, she knows about them lifestyle, communication skill and adapt to her own life. Another consequence is financial independence and freedom. In other words, individuals find job while doing study as well so they can afford personal expenses. He/she does not need to take money from their parents. Moreover, Students feel freedom instead of ask littel thing to parents.

To conclude, regarding the viewpoint of more population shift to developed area from undevelped area, the potential reasons are lack of education as well as jobs, and the obvious productive effectss are not only maturity and awareness but also financial independence.

Word Count: 299

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

education: 4

there: 3

society: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt, discussing both causes and effects of rural-to-urban migration. A clear position is presented. However, the development of ideas lacks depth and clarity. Some points are relevant but underdeveloped, and there are issues with precision in supporting examples. To improve, ensure each main idea is fully explained with more specific and logical support. Focus on clarity by refining sentence structures and vocabulary.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for causes and effects, and a conclusion. However, the flow is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear pronoun references (e.g., 'due to people leave villages migrating in city'). The use of cohesive devices is basic and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'On top of that society want to work in big companies that is the only reason they shift'). Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively managed to separate ideas clearly. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words accurately and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic with smooth transitions between sentences.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some attempts at less common words (e.g., 'postoral' for 'rural', 'undevelped' for 'underdeveloped'). There are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'collages' for 'colleges', 'diffrent' for 'different', 'littel' for 'little') and incorrect word choices (e.g., 'society' instead of 'people', 'public' instead of 'people'). The phrasing is often unnatural (e.g., 'lack of education' is used repeatedly, 'high package jobs' instead of 'high-paying jobs'). To improve, expand your vocabulary range, use precise and appropriate terms, and proofread to eliminate spelling errors. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity, including subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'most of public are moving' should be 'most of the public is moving'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'due to people leave villages' should be 'due to people leaving villages'), and missing articles (e.g., 'in following paragraphs' should be 'in the following paragraphs'). There are also issues with sentence structure, such as run-on sentences and fragments. While some complex structures are attempted, they are often incorrect. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules, using a variety of sentence structures accurately, and proofreading carefully to reduce errors.

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