Opinion

Band 7+: In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

See all user-written essays on this topic

Skyrocket your IELTS band score by 1-2 points in under a month with our premium plan!

Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

Currently, in many countries, women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are financially independent and therefore no longer require the financial security that marriage can provide. I completely agree with this view because women’s ability to earn their own income has given them greater independence and freedom to make their own life choices.

In the past, women could not earn a salary because it was forbidden in many countries. Although they worked as hard as men, they did not receive equal opportunities. This situation continued until the 20th century, when most countries allowed women to earn their own income. As a result, women became financially independent from men. Before that, the main reason why marriage was essential for many women was financial security, because they had limited access to education and employment. Their main goal was expected to be building a good and strong family. Additionally, many women could not get divorced and had to endure poor treatment and disrespect from their husbands.

On the other hand, women faced discrimination because many people believed that they were not as intelligent or hardworking as men. They were not allowed to participate in voting or hold political positions. Nobody cared about their opinions, despite the fact that these decisions directly affected their lives. This inequality still exists in many countries. For instance, women in Afghanistan have very limited rights. They are not allowed to receive an education, work, vote, or make many important decisions, including whom they marry. Additionally, many girls are forced to marry at a young age. They are often expected to spend their lives taking care of their families instead of pursuing education or careers. These examples show that inequality between men and women is not only related to financial issues.

In conclusion, I completely agree that financial independence is the main reason why many women no longer feel the need to get married. However, equal rights, education, and freedom of choice have also played an important role in improving women’s lives.

Word Count: 343

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Check My Essay

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Generate A Sample

Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

women: 11

their: 9

because: 5

countries: 4

financial: 4

education: 4

longer: 3

allowed: 3

lives: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The main ideas are relevant and supported with examples. However, the essay could be more focused on the specific question of financial security as the reason for women not feeling the need to marry. The second body paragraph discusses broader gender inequality, which, while related, slightly dilutes the focus. To improve, ensure each paragraph directly supports the thesis and the prompt's specific angle. Additionally, avoid introducing new points in the conclusion.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The progression of ideas is logical, and the use of cohesive devices such as 'In the past', 'As a result', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' helps guide the reader. However, the second body paragraph shifts focus to broader gender inequality, which slightly detracts from the main argument about financial independence. To improve, ensure each paragraph directly supports the thesis and maintains a tighter focus on the prompt.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is appropriate and demonstrates a good range, including terms like 'financially independent', 'limited access to education', and 'endure poor treatment'. There is some repetition of phrases such as 'women no longer feel the need to get married' and 'financial security'. To enhance lexical resource, consider using synonyms and more sophisticated expressions, such as 'economic autonomy' or 'matrimonial dependence'. The essay would benefit from more varied and precise vocabulary to achieve a higher score. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The grammar is largely accurate with a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences like 'Although they worked as hard as men, they did not receive equal opportunities.' There are minor issues, such as the use of 'could not get divorced' which might be better phrased as 'were unable to obtain a divorce' for formality. Overall, punctuation and grammar are used correctly, and the essay demonstrates strong control. To reach a band 9, aim for more sophisticated structures and ensure flawless accuracy.

Essays On The Same Topic:

In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a worldwide misconception that women in contemporary society no longer desire marriage because they have become increasingly independent. However, financial sustainability does not eliminate the human need for love, affection, and companionship. Furthermore, marriage can provide things money cannot, such as a sense of stability and long-term commitment. First and foremost, financial independence […]

Band 7+

See All

In some countries, the number of police officers in active service is decreasing. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What effects might this have on society?

Many societies have become more violent in recent years worldwide, challenging police forces to control crime. This rise in violence is the major reason for a decrease in the number of police officers in active service. Two aspects are to be considered: violent incidents have affected current police members with mental health issues, and fewer […]

Band 7+

The rise in workplace stress has become a significant issue in many industries. What are the main causes of workplace stress, and what solutions can be implemented to adress this problem effectively?

In today’s time, most individuals face stress and depression problems in their lives, and it is also increasing day by day. The major reason for this issue is the enhanced competition in every field. I will discuss the reasons for these problems and give relevant solutions in my upcoming paragraphs. Undoubtedly, nowadays, most of the […]

Band 6+

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Some museums have an admission charge while some do not. In my opinion, the drawbacks of an entrance fee are eclipsed by its benefits in the sense that the income will be ploughed back into operation and development of the museums. A major disadvantage of an admission fee is the possibility of reducing the number […]

Band 8+

Some people think that digital resources should replace traditional textbooks in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the present era, digitalization has become an increasingly crucial part of modern society. While experts believe that smart devices and online resources could significantly enhance the education quality by enabling access to new information without waiting for the book writer to compose a book, eventually leading to a faster knowledge adaptation, others contend that […]

Band 6+

The best way to improve health is to do regular exercise. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that daily exercise develops health. I completely agree with this opinion because it plays a crucial role in promoting a healthy lifestyle and reducing people’s health related expenditure. The primary reason why I believe this is the case is that it can contribute to better health. This is because people may increase […]

Band 5+

Some people believe that universities should focus only on academic subjects, while others think they should also teach practical skills such as communication and teamwork. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the contemporary era, the primary purpose of higher education is a subject of ongoing debate. While some individuals argue that universities should focus exclusively on career-specific technical skills, others believe that they should also teach critical thinking and problem-solving. This essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why I believe a balanced approach is […]

Band 8+

See All