Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 6+: In some countries the widespread use of the Internet has given people more freedom to work or study at home instead of traveling to work or college.Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

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In the contemporary world, people are vacillating between working from home and at the office, and an increasing number of people are choosing the former. If I were one of those people, I would have definitely chosen working from home as well. In today’s digitalized society, online work is of great convenience and taking advantage of this technological improvement has improved the overall lives of the working people like increased family time, no commute expenses, greater mental health and more.

Firstly, building family rapport and maintaining it has become easier than ever which is the cornerstone of a healthy society. People working from home feel more at ease knowing that their spouse and their children are safe. Furthermore, working mothers are no longer ‘divorced’ from their young children who might need constant surveillance and this creates a greater psychological security of the one working from home.

Secondly, while commute cost and time might be insignificant in the short run, they slowly build up each each day. Working from home completely erases this dilemma which otherwise incurs a significant amount of time and energy in the long run. Additionally, some public transport, especially in the developing countries, can be mentally taxing which contributes to the overall psychological burden that working people face every waking day.

On the other hand, working on-site has its own benefits like increased focus on a particular task, build and maintain close connections with managers and colleagues, potentially avoid miscommunications. Having said that, I still firmly believe that the advantages of working from home far outweighs these supposed ramifications as people are experimenting the new culture of online work.

All in all, in an increasingly digital economy, working from home is slowly becoming a more popular choice as opposed to working in the office and people are gradually realizing its latent benefits as a function of time and increased practice. I predict that the culture of working from home will substantially increase in the future due to its immense newfound benefits.

Word Count: 334

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

working: 13

people: 8

increased: 3

which: 3

their: 3

benefits: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position that the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages. The main ideas are relevant and supported with some development, such as family time, reduced commute, and mental health benefits. However, the response could be improved by providing more balanced and detailed discussion of the disadvantages, and by ensuring that all points are fully extended with specific examples or evidence. Additionally, some sentences are overly informal or contain minor grammatical issues, which slightly affect clarity. To achieve a higher score, aim for a more structured and precise presentation of ideas, and consider addressing potential counterarguments more thoroughly.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The progression of ideas is logical, and the use of cohesive devices is generally effective. However, there are minor lapses in cohesion, such as the abrupt shift in the fourth paragraph where the writer introduces on-site benefits without a clear linking phrase. Additionally, the conclusion could be more concise and directly address the question. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that transitions between paragraphs are smoother.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with some sophisticated choices (e.g., 'vacillating', 'cornerstone', 'psychological security', 'latent benefits'). However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and word choice that slightly affect clarity, such as 'improved the overall lives of the working people like increased family time' and 'people are experimenting the new culture of online work.' To improve, focus on using more precise and natural collocations, and avoid informal or unclear expressions. Additionally, ensure that vocabulary is used accurately in context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect accuracy. For example, 'each each day' is a repetition error, 'far outweighs' should be 'far outweigh' (subject-verb agreement), and 'people are experimenting the new culture' should be 'people are experimenting with the new culture.' Additionally, there are some run-on sentences and missing commas. To improve, proofread carefully for subject-verb agreement, article usage, and punctuation. Varying sentence structures more consistently would also enhance grammatical range.

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Band 6+: In some countries the widespread use of the Internet has given people more freedom to work or study at home instead of traveling to work or college.Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

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Essays On The Same Topic:

In some countries the widespread use of the Internet has given people more freedom to work or study at home instead of traveling to work or college.Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

In some countries the widespread use of the Internet has given people more freedom to work or study at home instead of traveling to work or college.Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

In some countries the widespread use of the Internet has given people more freedom to work or study at home instead of traveling to work or college.Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

In some countries the widespread use of the Internet has given people more freedom to work or study at home instead of traveling to work or college.Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

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