Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 4+: International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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There are so many places to visit on our planet, and nowadays international tourism is one if the key economics benefit for different countries. But a lot of people can say, that tourists are dangerous for environment and local inhabitans. In my opinion, the advantages of cross-country travelers are much more outweigh the disadvantages.

During visiting new countries tourists usually have to bring a lot of money and share photos, videos and blogs in social media. As an example, I really enjoy to following Ukranian travel blogger Anton Ptushkin, who flew acros the world and shared various videos on Youtube. Not only because of buying daily meal in the local markets and spending savings, but although, thanks to chatting with locals and deep diving into inhabitants life style, Anton delivered all these information in particular understandable format for many people. All these things attracted huge number of travelers to explore same areas and share their ideas with people.

More that that, world wide knowing problems, such as plastic overusage, water consumption and animals hunting, are strongly highlited during visits many places. There is no chance to avoid to being informed about these weaaknesses of the consolidation technology and nature. Because tourists contacting with it on a land. Quick look to North Africa countries reflected some these human-life results, which were mentioned above. But as many people being informed of local problems, as fast government and environment related organisations have to respond and act without fair to fix the conditions.

As result, the international tourism brought much more advantages and points to grow, than barriering and block essential flow of travelers. Knowledge of differences range far located places on Earth and exploring them as much as people can do, becomes a valuable contribution to environment nowadays.

Word Count: 295

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 4

these: 4

places: 3

countries: 3

tourists: 3

environment: 3

local: 3

travelers: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position: that the advantages of international tourism outweigh the disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. The first body paragraph focuses heavily on a specific travel blogger, which, while providing an example, becomes a personal anecdote rather than a broad exploration of the economic or cultural advantages of tourism. The second body paragraph attempts to address the environmental concerns mentioned in the prompt, but the connection between tourism and the 'solution' to these problems is somewhat circular and lacks depth. To improve, ensure that each paragraph directly supports the main argument with generalized, well-developed points. Instead of focusing on one individual, discuss how tourism boosts local economies or promotes cultural exchange. Additionally, ensure that the disadvantages are not just mentioned but are weighed against the advantages to directly answer the 'outweigh' aspect of the question. Work on grammatical precision and sentence structure to ensure that the logical flow of your arguments is clear to the reader.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is often interrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. While you attempt to use cohesive devices (e.g., 'More that that', 'As result'), they are frequently used incorrectly or are non-standard. To improve, focus on using transition words more naturally and ensuring that each sentence flows logically into the next to guide the reader through your argument without confusion.

Lexical Resource

You attempt to use a variety of vocabulary related to the topic (e.g., 'inhabitants', 'consumption', 'consolidation technology'), but there are frequent errors in word choice, spelling, and collocation. For example, 'economics benefit' should be 'economic benefit', and 'much more outweigh' is redundant. There are also several spelling mistakes like 'inhabitans', 'acros', and 'weaaknesses'. Aim to expand your range of academic vocabulary and focus on the correct collocations (words that naturally go together) to ensure your meaning is clear.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement, incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'enjoy to following'), and sentence fragments (e.g., 'Because tourists contacting with it on a land'). There is an attempt at complex structures, such as 'Not only... but although...', but these are not executed correctly. I recommend practicing sentence structure fundamentals, particularly how to form complex sentences using subordinating conjunctions, and reviewing verb patterns.

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