Opinion

Band 6+: many people copy the way famous people behave or even their clothes. what are the reasons for this and what are impacts? say an example.

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Being trendy is one of the main in young people’s life. By copying the behaviour and clothes of famous people, children tend to show off their belongings and try to act in celebrity style. There are several reasons why and how these are happening. Due to this, various problems arise. This essay will examine the cause and issues.

To initiate with, younger individuals are highly influenced by social media. Following this, the types of videos they see may one the main cause to adapt several various things. For instance, when an individual is watching Instagram, a celebrity’s video of modelling with the latest trend of dress may appear. This is enough to get influenced, then the next moment or day, they will buy this product. Moreover, advertisements promote their clothes with celebrities; in this way, citizens tend to buy it.

Furthermore, when youth goes to school, college or work areas, some of them may change the behaviour and tends to imitate individuals with fame. This is because they may hate their own character and might want to please people. Bullying children is one of the reason too. In addition, community thinks, if they adapt these qualities, presidents will accept them the way they are.

However, there are several problems that arise due to these causes. When youth gets influenced by social media and they adapt those way of styling and act accordingly which results in the lose of their own identity. Besides this, the individuals lose huge amount of money in these which will also become an addiction to show off their wealth. Consequently, society tries to exclude these type of citizens and this may create groupism. Similarly, they gets avoided at different occasions.

In conclusion, various causes results in several issues. Life of many youth may end up in danger if they are not controlled. Accordingly, they may face ignorance from society which might be the reason for their downfall.

Word Count: 321

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 6

these: 5

several: 4

various: 3

individuals: 3

influenced: 3

adapt: 3

youth: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. The ideas are relevant but lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the potential problems caused by young people copying celebrities. Also, ensure that your arguments are logically structured and easy to follow.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates an attempt to organize ideas into paragraphs, but the connections between sentences and paragraphs could be strengthened. Transitions are sometimes abrupt, and the flow of ideas is not always smooth. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the overall coherence of the essay. For example, in the third paragraph, the connection between 'bullying children' and imitating famous people could be clearer. Also, the introduction and conclusion could be more focused and directly address the essay's main points.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but some word choices are not entirely accurate or appropriate. There are instances of imprecise language and overuse of certain words. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using more precise language to convey your ideas. Pay attention to collocations and idiomatic expressions to enhance the naturalness of your writing. For example, instead of 'one the main cause,' consider using 'a primary cause.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a number of grammatical errors, including issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. These errors sometimes impede understanding. To improve, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Pay attention to punctuation and ensure that your sentences are clear and concise. For example, in the first paragraph, 'one of the main in young people's life' is grammatically incorrect and should be revised.

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Band 6+: many people copy the way famous people behave or even their clothes. what are the reasons for this and what are impacts? say an example.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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Essays On The Same Topic:

many people copy the way famous people behave or even their clothes. what are the reasons for this and what are impacts? say an example.

many people copy the way famous people behave or even their clothes. what are the reasons for this and what are impacts? say an example.

many people copy the way famous people behave or even their clothes. what are the reasons for this and what are impacts? say an example.

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some people think that environmental problems are too big to solve, however others believe thst these issues cannot be solved until individuals take some action

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