Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 7+: Many people leave their home country to study abroad nowadays. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

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In the modern society, the number of international students has been increasing worldwide. While some people argue that studying abroad, and therefore bringing new perspectives into new cultures, is good, while others maintain that it would be better for individuals pursuing education in an unfamiliar country to enjoy the benefits of being a domestic student in their home countries and make way for locals.

One compelling argument in favor of international education is that studying abroad facilitates the development of the sense of independence in those who attend institutions in a country different from their own. Due to the fact that new students are yet to find local acquittances who can help them to settle in the new community, they must adopt to their new lifestyle themselves. Besides that, the knowledge, skills, and experience international students have accumulated in their homes can be extremely useful for countries that accept them to their institutions. Nondomestic scholars’ perspectives help broaden the horizons of knowledge of the community they moved to.

Among the drawbacks, international students are prone to various psychological and chronic disorders that arise due to heightened stress-levels they get after leaving their families for education. Consequently, this mental and physical state may result in a wide range of illnesses, including depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorders. However, constant online contact with their loved ones serves as a protective factor against these illnesses. One could argue that international students take institutions’ places that belong to domestic scholars, leading to a smaller number of space available for locals. Nevertheless, contemporary universities, colleges, and schools offer enough seats for both international and domestic students.

Moving abroad to pursue an education has become a common practice in today’s world. Although there are downsides to this trend, I believe that they are outweighed by the advantages to both international individuals and society.

Word Count: 306

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

international: 7

their: 7

students: 5

education: 4

abroad: 3

domestic: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad, and presents a clear position in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven: the advantages are well-supported, but the disadvantages are less fully explored, and some points (e.g., the claim about universities having enough seats) are asserted without sufficient justification. The essay would benefit from more balanced coverage and deeper analysis of the disadvantages. Additionally, the introduction includes a slightly confusing sentence about making way for locals, which is not clearly linked to the main topic. To improve, ensure that each point is clearly explained and directly relevant to the question, and avoid introducing tangential arguments.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphing and a logical progression of ideas. The introduction presents the topic and outlines both sides, though the phrasing 'While some people argue... while others maintain' is slightly redundant. The body paragraphs effectively discuss advantages and disadvantages, and the conclusion summarizes the position. Cohesion is generally smooth, but occasional awkward transitions (e.g., 'Besides that') and the use of 'However' in the disadvantages paragraph to introduce a counterpoint could be refined for better flow. Overall, the message is easy to follow, and paragraphing is skillful.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a wide range of vocabulary with generally accurate and appropriate use. Terms like 'facilitates', 'acquittances' (though 'acquaintances' is the correct form), 'accumulated', and 'protective factor' show good lexical control. However, there are minor inaccuracies: 'adopt to' should be 'adapt to', 'Nondomestic' is uncommon (better: 'International' or 'Foreign'), and 'space available' could be 'spaces available'. These errors are infrequent and do not impede communication. To achieve a higher band, aim for more natural and sophisticated collocations and avoid rare but incorrect word choices. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

A wide range of grammatical structures is used with good flexibility and control. Complex sentences are generally well-formed, and punctuation is mostly correct. There are minor errors such as 'adopt to' (should be 'adapt to'), 'stress-levels' (hyphenation is acceptable but 'stress levels' is more standard), and 'a smaller number of space' (should be 'a smaller number of spaces' or 'less space'). These do not significantly affect readability. To reach a higher band, ensure consistent accuracy in preposition use and subject-verb agreement, and refine minor punctuation details.

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