Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 4+: Many people today prefer to communicate through social media instead of face-to-face interaction. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

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Communication system has been changing day by day. While rising of social media aslo has a great influance on communication and forming relationships, many believies it has a negative impect on society. This essay will discuss advantages and disadvantages of this change and how this affected face-to-face communication.

On the one hand, social media can effect communication system in a positive way. Nowadays people can talk to their family or friends anytime from anywhere in the world. This makes family or loved one to stay closer even they are living far away. For example, many students and workers living in another city can easily video call at their home whenever they feel alone, which helps to creat stronger bond with closed one.

On the other hand, this trend also has some drawbacks. Online communication system made our younger genaration inactive. Teenagers growing with using vast amount of social media might refuse to have a face-to-face conversation. One social study conducted by Japan international SS GROUP shows, almost 87% students, aged between 13-19: all over the globe do not like to go out in any social event of function. Instade the prefer video calling. this resulting people to become unsocial and less interective.

In my opinion, havily relying on social media is a concerning matter. Availablity of mobile phone and internet is making it even worse.

In conclusion, there are many pros and cons of growing trend of social media. However people should limit their usage of it and ofen hang out in real.

Word Count: 253

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

social: 7

media: 5

communication: 4

system: 3

people: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt, presenting a position and discussing advantages and disadvantages. However, the ideas lack clarity and depth. The examples provided are somewhat generic and could be more specific and developed. The impact on face-to-face communication is mentioned but not thoroughly explored. To improve, focus on providing more detailed explanations and specific examples to support your points. Also, ensure a more balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages, and delve deeper into the effects on face-to-face communication.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. Paragraphing is present, but could be improved to better separate and develop distinct points. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are often weak or missing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the flow of the essay.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of inaccurate word choice. The language used is quite basic, and there is little evidence of sophisticated or nuanced expression. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using more precise language to convey your ideas. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. These errors often impede understanding. There is a limited range of grammatical structures used, and accuracy is inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction.

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