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Band 5+: News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to write in newspapers. What factors influence these decisions? Do you think we become used to bad news? Should more good news be reported?

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Nowadays, news on TV and newspapers has become filtered in order to attract a particular type of society. Consequently, news editors and the broadcasting team decided what to print and broadcast.

Firstly, there are several factors that contribute to this decision. One of the primary reasons would be the type of people who continuously showing an urge to watch negative news on TV and newspaper. This is mainly because of natural nature of human beings. People generally look up to problems and disaster news which happend to others. It is not only because they want to involve in it, but they become so curious about it. Consequently, TV and newspaper organisations just selling more negative news so that people are more likely to watch; As a result, they will get profit by them. Additionally, the reporters and printers categorise these news in order to increase their TRP. They might be feeling guilty. Perhaps, they forced to doing this due to the pressure on their working field.

I personally believe people have become more interested in bad news, as they also fastly lose attention towards good news on TV. For instance, accident and robbery news are considered to be negative news, which would influence the young people badly;As a result, they will lose trust among their society people. Moreover, children nowadays tend to spend a lot of time watching TV, it leads to anxiety and honesty issues on society. Despite this, adults and children still watch these news because they are become used to this news.

Admittedly, good news can create remarkable changes over people’s.Firstly, news generally contains information about technology, what is happening on the education field and job field would benefit both youngsters and children. For example, achievement and sports news could develop motivation and a goal-oriented mindset in everyone, especially to children. By watching their victory moments and happiness gradually they also build up a determined and dedicated mindset. Though, I would argue that if more good news reported in both TV and newspapers, which would definitely create great changes and progress on society.

Word Count: 346

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 6

would: 5

become: 4

society: 4

their: 4

children: 4

negative: 3

because: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt, presenting a clear position on factors influencing news decisions, the public's habituation to bad news, and the potential benefits of more good news. Ideas are relevant and generally supported with examples, though some points lack full development and precision. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea with more specific evidence or explanation, and avoid minor grammatical errors and informal phrasing. Strengthening the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs would also enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and abrupt transitions. For example, the shift from discussing factors influencing news decisions to the impact on young people could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes incorrect (e.g., 'As a result' is used multiple times without clear connection). To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'furthermore', 'in addition', 'consequently') and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed logically.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts at less common words (e.g., 'TRP', 'goal-oriented mindset'). However, there are several errors in word choice and collocation (e.g., 'fastly lose attention' should be 'quickly lose attention', 'they are become used to' should be 'they have become used to'). The phrasing is often unnatural and repetitive. To improve, expand your vocabulary by reading more news articles and practicing using synonyms. Pay attention to common collocations (e.g., 'influence decisions', 'create changes') and avoid direct translations from your native language. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity and understanding. These include subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'people who continuously showing'), incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'they forced to doing'), missing articles (e.g., 'over people's'), and punctuation issues (e.g., missing commas, incorrect use of semicolons). Sentence structures are often simple or incorrectly formed. To improve, review basic grammar rules, particularly verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Practice writing more complex sentences with subordinate clauses and ensure punctuation is used correctly to separate ideas.

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