Positive And Negative

Band 4+: Nowadays more and more people want to get things done instantly (services, information, tasks). Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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When society becomes more functional in society which redefines the demand of reaching things immediately and precisely. It is a beneficial change when now people can solve their issue on Internet rather than wait for the intervention of relative departments. In this essay will address the merits followed by explanations.

It is truthful that fostering the process will optimize time and productivity due to instant results and available source of information. For instance, the public service in Vietnam compared to the past is much more simple, apparent with the integration of microchip in identity card and application of credit card. On the one hand, It can store information related to their personal information and public service such as pubic insurance, driving license. People do not need to follow the unnecessary process by the responsible party and prepare for papers, assignments which are easily forgettable and stolen. Subsequently, It turn over our interaction. For example, In daily life,Online shopping has been increased with the discount and fast delivery for costumers or the existence of automatic car that lead people in right direction, less conversation with drivers as some people feel comfortable.In task managements, business employers can supervise their employees conveniently through virtual technology, from salary payment to conference organization and young people tend to work from home.

In contrast to merits, people are desirable to know the instant results can break down their patience and concentration. Whenever a student or a worker, using more AI generating for ideas, answers which is narrow their minds and lead to degradation in their own thinking style and performance. Additionally, whenever they are in dilemma instead of brainstorming for solution, they want to go short cut as gaining advice from AI whether it is true or not ,they can be indecisive, whenever they search for information, they may lose patience in selection. As a result, they can be scammed or lured by advertising.

In conclusion, These are advantages and drawbacks mentioned above which determine people want quick process to get instant outcome , It is good enough to show the advancement of society that can meet people demand and take responsibility to boost the process immediately, somehow they need to be cautious the consequences affecting on their personal development.

Word Count: 374

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 8

their: 7

which: 4

process: 4

information: 4

society: 3

instant: 3

whenever: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt (the reasons for the trend and whether it is positive or negative), but the development of ideas is inconsistent. While a position is present, the connection between the 'reasons' (the 'why') and the 'effects' is sometimes blurred. The first body paragraph focuses heavily on the benefits of technology rather than explicitly explaining *why* people have developed this desire for instant gratification. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus. For the first question (Why is this?), you should focus on the drivers of this behavior, such as technological advancement or the fast-paced nature of modern life. For the second question (Positive or negative?), you should clearly weigh the pros and cons. Additionally, work on grammatical precision; there are several instances of awkward phrasing and sentence structures that obscure the intended meaning. Aim for clearer transitions between ideas to ensure the logical flow of your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is often hindered by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. Some cohesive devices are used, but they occasionally feel forced or are used incorrectly (e.g., 'In contrast to merits'). To improve, focus on using transition words more naturally and ensuring that each sentence flows logically into the next. The introduction also contains a fragmented sentence that makes the initial premise difficult to follow.

Lexical Resource

There is an attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'integration of microchip', 'virtual technology', 'degradation'). However, there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation (e.g., 'people are desirable to know', 'narrow their minds', 'turn over our interaction'). These errors sometimes obscure the intended meaning. To improve, work on learning collocations - words that naturally go together - and ensure that the words chosen fit the formal tone required for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence attempts, but grammatical errors are frequent and often impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('It turn over'), improper sentence structures ('When society becomes...'), and punctuation errors. There are also issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures and ensuring that complex sentences are grammatically complete. Regular proofreading for subject-verb agreement and sentence fragments will significantly help.

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