Cause And Solution

Band 4+: Nowadays, people spend less time at home. What are the causes of this? What are the effects of this on individuals and on society?

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Modern society, most of individuals are busy with their work, therefore they have no time to spend time with their children and stay at home. This essay will examine causes and provide reasoned conclusion.

One of the main reasons, people have less time to spend with their family members. Every family member like stay together with their family members, but they are very busy with their professional life. For this reason most of the people have no time to spend their homes. On the other hand, technical devices may be moving away family relationships. Such as, children play games every time with mobile phones and also parents using social media in free time. There are the causes of this issue.

That issue is normal question in this modern society,but we need to consider about that. Because, that can be harmful for adult’s and children’s future life. Indeed, every single free time is highly significant and it can considerable effect on family. Every family members are hoping care, love and safety, it is really want as human. Moreover, that issue may be bad effect on children. Such as, without parents look after children can be aggressive and tempting to do illegal activities. This is not getting positive effect on society and individuals.

In conclusion, everyone want to reserve time for staying with their homes in their free time. If we can give time for them we can reduce more and more drawbacks within it. This staying with family is medicine for our mind.

Word Count: 252

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 8

family: 7

children: 4

every: 4

spend: 3

members: 3

effect: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt, presenting a position and identifying some relevant causes and effects. However, the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. The essay could benefit from more specific examples and a clearer focus on the societal and individual effects. To improve, provide more concrete evidence to support your claims and ensure each point is thoroughly explained.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay lacks clear organization and logical flow. The ideas are not well-connected, and the paragraphing is weak. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are often missing or ineffective, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. To improve coherence, focus on creating a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use transition words and phrases to link ideas and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, coherent point.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with limited range and accuracy. There are instances of inappropriate word choice and imprecise language. To enhance lexical resource, try to use a wider variety of vocabulary related to the topic, including synonyms and more specific terms. Focus on using words accurately and appropriately, and avoid relying on the same words and phrases repeatedly. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and improper use of articles and prepositions. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Practice writing simple and compound sentences correctly before attempting more complex structures. Proofread carefully for errors and consider using grammar resources to identify and correct mistakes.

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