Positive And Negative

Band 4+: Nowadays, sports stars can earn a great deal of money from advertising expensive sporting goods and other products. What problems might this cause? Do you think this is a negative or positive development?

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these days, most escort stars, get handsome salaries from acting in advertising, which is for luxury brands. In this essay, we mentioned the drawbacks and benefits of this statement.

we have witnessed some disadvantages of advertising were made by sports celebrities. Firstly, teenagers and the youngest include a large part of their fans and followers for this reason they are more eager to buy the products because at this age most of them cannot make a rational decision. In addition, these products are luxurious and expensive. it is truly the purchase of these products Part money matters pressure on the family due to demands from young individuals. Moreover, some people argue that the money that the sport starts to get for acting in advertising is extremely high and it is not fair so they should be given a reasonable salary.

However, In my point of view, earning a handsome salary from a sports popular could be fair due to their work life is pretty short and will retire soon. Also, most of them helping to charity and it shows that they are responsible and useful people in society.

To sum up, we discuss the advantages and disadvantages of sports celebrities earning high salaries from luxury brand advertising. Despite concerns, the short career span justifies the earnings, and their charitable contributions reflect positively on their societal impact.

Word Count: 226

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

advertising: 4

their: 4

these: 3

sports: 3

products: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

4.5

The essay addresses both the problems and the positive aspects of sports stars earning money from advertising, but the discussion lacks depth and development. The points made are somewhat relevant, but the ideas need to be more fully extended and supported with specific examples or evidence. Additionally, the position on whether this is a positive or negative development is not explicitly clear and could be more strongly presented.
The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

3.5

The essay is somewhat difficult to follow due to the lack of clear organization and coherence. There are issues with paragraphing and the flow of ideas, which makes the message less effortless to follow. Cohesion is also lacking, and there are some noticeable lapses in coherence and cohesion throughout the essay. It would benefit from a more structured approach and better use of cohesive devices.

Lexical Resource

4.5

The essay demonstrates some flexibility and use of vocabulary, but there are also instances of imprecise word choice and limited range. It would benefit from a wider range of vocabulary and more precise use of language. Additionally, there are some awkward or unclear expressions that could be improved for a more natural and sophisticated control of lexical features.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

4.5

The essay shows some variety in sentence structures, but there are also noticeable errors in grammar and punctuation. It would benefit from more accurate and appropriate use of grammar and punctuation throughout. Additionally, there are some issues with sentence construction that could be improved for a wider range of grammatical structures.

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