Cause And Solution

Band 4+: Overpopulation in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved?

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Nowadays, almost in big cities around the world have a same problem that is Overpopulation People. This esai will describe the Main reason of this phenomenon have to is because Salary of employee and a lot of facilities perfectly. And why government’s is play key role in this issue.

The main reason of this issue it happen to almost big cities around the world is the salary of employes in big cities is higher than salary in urban village. This is happen because many foreign factory chosee to investment in big cities the reason they chosee the big cities is easy acces to supply their factory. In other hand, a lot of perfectly facilities in big cities is reason why urban village chosee to life in big cities.

And the viable solution in this issue is government try to negotiation with foreign investor to build their factory in the village, this’s the reason why government is play a key role in this situation because they must Building an easy acces to village so the foreign investor want to bulid their own factory in the village, as a result, people who life in the village can work in foreign factory also the economy in village become to higher.

In conclusion, the main reason of this issue are salary in big cities more higher than in the village and the fully fasilies are more available in big cities. And the viable solutions are government must solve their economy in the village and build a same facilities in village sam as in the big cities.

Word Count: 262

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

village: 10

cities: 9

reason: 6

factory: 5

salary: 4

foreign: 4

their: 4

because: 3

facilities: 3

issue: 3

chosee: 3

government: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by identifying causes (higher salaries and better facilities in cities) and proposing solutions (government negotiation and infrastructure development). However, the response is incomplete and lacks clarity in several areas. The position is present but not fully developed, and the ideas are limited and not sufficiently supported with specific examples or detailed explanations. There are also issues with coherence and cohesion, as the essay lacks clear paragraphing and logical progression. To improve, focus on fully addressing all parts of the prompt, developing each idea with clear explanations and examples, and organizing the essay into well-structured paragraphs with clear topic sentences. Additionally, ensure that the language is precise and error-free to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the flow is often disrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The ideas are presented in a logical order, but the lack of cohesive devices and the frequent need to re-read sentences to understand the meaning make it difficult to follow effortlessly. To improve, focus on using clear topic sentences, linking words (e.g., 'firstly', 'moreover', 'therefore'), and ensuring each paragraph has a single clear main idea.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some repetition (e.g., 'big cities', 'village', 'facilities'). There are also errors in word choice and spelling (e.g., 'esai' for 'essay', 'chosee' for 'choose', 'fasilies' for 'facilities'). To improve, expand your vocabulary by learning synonyms and collocations, and practice using words accurately in context. Also, avoid informal or incorrect terms like 'urban village' (should be 'rural areas' or 'villages'). Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'almost in big cities have'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'is happen'), missing articles (e.g., 'a same problem'), and punctuation issues. These errors significantly affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, review basic grammar rules, practice writing sentences with correct structure, and proofread your work. Focus on using a variety of sentence structures, such as complex sentences, but ensure they are grammatically correct.

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