Opinion

Band 5+: People should choose their course of study not on the basis of their own interests, but based on the kinds of jobs they can get. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

A segment of people assert that students should select their subject on the basis of carrier they want, not on their own interest. Selection of any course plays a significant role in individual’s life because it is the deciding factor of future; moreover, divert one in a right path. I partly agree to this proposition and in this essay, both views of this proposition will be discussed.

Regarding why people consider selection of couses is based on their interest, they consider this method enhance their academic performance. Person when do their work within their interest rather than a student can have a passsion and dedication towards that specific work. Simialrly, student can also do better performance in their academics. For instance, on one hand, a person who is interested in Mathematics can solve a complex problem easily, while who is not interested, can not solve the problem on other. Furthermore, it increase self-confidence. Consequently, they can easily get a better oppurtunity, where they feel more experienced.

In contrary, regarding why they consider to choose study course according to their need of a particular job, they believe this assists to fulfill their desire. Every person have their own desire of job such as someone have desire to get job of doctor, while other have to become a police officer. Therefore, whenever they choose that type of course related to job,they want, it can be surely fulfilled. For instance, medical student can achieve a job that is related to medicines. As a consequence, people can get satifaction while doing their job.

In conclusion, individuals, when choose their study course based on their interest, they can do better in academic performance; however, when it comes down to job, it fulfill their desire and they can get flexibility.

Word Count: 294

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 14

interest: 4

course: 4

desire: 4

people: 3

consider: 3

person: 3

student: 3

better: 3

while: 3

choose: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a clear position (partial agreement). However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and lacks precision. The arguments are relevant but could be more fully extended and supported with specific examples. There are also issues with clarity and coherence, as some sentences are awkwardly phrased and the organization could be improved. To improve, focus on developing each point more thoroughly, using clearer topic sentences, and ensuring that the conclusion effectively summarizes the position and main ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear pronoun references. For example, the phrase 'moreover, divert one in a right path' is confusing. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'In contrary' should be 'In contrast'). Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively managed to enhance clarity. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed logically.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some attempts at more sophisticated words (e.g., 'proposition', 'fulfill', 'satisfaction'). However, there are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'carrier' instead of 'career', 'couses' instead of 'courses', 'passsion' instead of 'passion', 'Simialrly' instead of 'Similarly', 'oppurtunity' instead of 'opportunity', 'satifaction' instead of 'satisfaction') and some inappropriate word choices (e.g., 'divert' instead of 'direct'). The vocabulary is not always used accurately, and there is repetition of basic words. To improve, expand your vocabulary and practice using words in the correct context. Also, proofread to eliminate spelling errors. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Every person have' should be 'Every person has'), verb tense consistency, and sentence structure (e.g., 'Person when do their work within their interest rather than a student can have a passsion and dedication towards that specific work' is a run-on and unclear). Punctuation is often missing or incorrectly used. While there is some variety in sentence structures, the frequent errors make it difficult to follow the argument. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules, such as subject-verb agreement and sentence construction, and practice writing clearer, more concise sentences.

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