Opinion

Band 6+: ''Prevention is better than cure''. Researching is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventive measures. To what extent do you agree

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It is argued that it is better to invest in preventative measures instead of spending a large amount of money on researching and treating diseases. To a certain extent I agree that investing in medical research and treatment is also essential. However, I believe that investing in preventative measures is the best way because it can prevent diseases and reduce healthcare costs.

To begin with, investing in treatment and medical researches is significant for several reasons. On the one hand, medical research contributes to the development of new medicine and advanced treatment, which can improve the quality of live and assist doctors in medical fields to encourage and treat diseases more efficiently. Furthermore, contemporary medical treatment can save patients’ live from serious illnesses. Therefore, these measurements require sustainable funding, they remain an important part of every healthcare system.

However, investing in preventative measures is the most effective option as well. Firstly, many diseases can be prevented by vaccination, healthy lifestyle which can decrease the number of people suffering from inflammation. Secondly, prevention lowers the healthcare cost owing to the governments do not have to pay a large amount of money on expensive treatments and long-term hospital care.Finally, regular check-ups can detect serious illnesses at an early stage.Furthermore, investing in preventive measurements are the best way to boost the public health in the long term.

In conclusion, although investing in medical research and treatment is essential, I believe that allocating more money to preventative measures is the most effective way to improve public health because it can prevent diseases and reduce healthcare costs.

Word Count: 262

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

investing: 6

medical: 6

diseases: 5

treatment: 5

preventative: 4

measures: 4

healthcare: 4

money: 3

research: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position, agreeing that preventative measures are better while acknowledging the importance of treatment. The main ideas are relevant and supported with examples. However, there are some lapses in clarity and precision, such as vague phrases ('improve the quality of live', 'encourage and treat diseases') and minor grammatical errors. To improve, focus on refining language for clarity and ensuring each point is fully developed with specific examples or evidence.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphing and logical progression. However, there are minor lapses in cohesion, such as abrupt transitions between some ideas (e.g., 'Finally, regular check-ups...' and 'Furthermore, investing in preventive measurements...'). Using more cohesive devices and smoother transitions would enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate and mostly appropriate, with some good use of topic-specific terms (e.g., 'preventative measures', 'healthcare costs'). However, there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'investing' used frequently) and some awkward phrasing (e.g., 'measurements' instead of 'measures'). Expanding the range of vocabulary and using more precise terms would improve the lexical resource. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors that affect clarity. For example, 'improve the quality of live' should be 'quality of life', 'save patients' live' should be 'lives', and 'owing to the governments do not have to pay' should be 'owing to the fact that governments do not have to pay'. Additionally, subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'investing in preventive measurements are' should be 'is') and punctuation errors (e.g., missing spaces after periods) are present. Improving grammatical accuracy and proofreading would raise the score.

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