Opinion

Band 4+: Scientific research often requires significant government funding. Some people argue that this money should instead be used to solve social problems. Agree or disagree?

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It is often argued that scientific research plays an significant work in the improve of society, while other people believe that government should prioritize funding for more address social problems, for example, education and healthcare, rather than scientific research. I strongly believe that governments should prioritize what kind of issues want to solves with scientific and make more valuable society.

It is true that scientific concentrate on own interested ranges such as technology development, medical sciences and biology. This has been improve convenience lifestyle for human and also significantly increased the life expectance nowadays. However, prioritize the scientific research and relate with society problems is significantly important for our life. This is because many countries have deferent issues with society. For example, In Japan we have strong mobile companies such as Toyota, Honda and Nissan. These companies focus on create new gasoline cars or highbred cars. However, nowadays many developed countries try to ban the gasoline cars because of environment pollution. From this, many countries try to create the electronic cars to protect the environment. Nevertheless, Japanese government not prioritize in electricity, this causes struggle with create new electricity cars in Japan to compare with other countries. Therefore, government needs to prioritize the scientific research to keep strong development technologies and creates new ideas with supply and demand.

Moreover, followed the government prioritize helps to addressed social issues or helps to prevent the issues such as nature disasters. To explain this some countries usually faced the natural disasters and people get injured a lot ever year. From these situation government need to urge to make strong preventions technology. For instance, in China the government focus on making the human robots and AI drones to rescue the injuries people. In addition, these AI robots already saved numerous people in natural disasters places. Consequently, related with some supply and demands helps to make county better and save humans life.

In conclusion, it is important to play any types of role for scientific research. However, I strongly believe that government needs to find the prioritize social problems. And after that scientific research needs to urgent to focus on solve the problems and develop new scientific techniques or technology.

Word Count: 365

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

scientific: 9

government: 7

prioritize: 7

research: 6

countries: 5

people: 4

problems: 4

issues: 4

society: 3

believe: 3

social: 3

technology: 3

however: 3

strong: 3

these: 3

focus: 3

create: 3

needs: 3

helps: 3

disasters: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position that governments should prioritize funding for immediate social issues, but the development is limited and lacks clarity. The main ideas are relevant but not sufficiently extended or supported with precise examples. There are issues with coherence and language accuracy that affect the overall clarity. To improve, focus on developing each point with more specific and logical explanations, ensure a clear structure with topic sentences, and proofread for grammatical errors and word choice.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the flow of ideas is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections. The main argument is presented, but the development of ideas is not always logical or easy to follow. For example, the link between the example of Japanese car companies and the need to prioritize scientific research is not clearly explained. Cohesive devices are used, but sometimes inaccurately (e.g., 'Moreover, followed the government prioritize...'). Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively managed to separate distinct points. To improve, focus on creating a clear line of argument in each paragraph, using topic sentences, and ensuring that examples are directly linked to the main point.

Lexical Resource

The essay attempts to use a range of vocabulary, but there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation (e.g., 'significant work' instead of 'significant role', 'improve of society' instead of 'improvement of society', 'address social problems' instead of 'address social issues', 'convenience lifestyle' instead of 'convenient lifestyle', 'life expectance' instead of 'life expectancy', 'highbred cars' instead of 'hybrid cars'). There is some evidence of less common vocabulary (e.g., 'prioritize', 'supply and demand', 'prevention technology'), but it is not always used accurately. To improve, build a wider range of precise vocabulary and practice using words in the correct context. Pay attention to word forms (nouns, verbs, adjectives) and common collocations. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are numerous grammatical errors throughout that affect clarity. Errors include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'scientific concentrate' instead of 'scientific research concentrates'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'has been improve' instead of 'has improved'), incorrect use of articles (e.g., 'an significant work' instead of 'a significant role'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'government need to urge to make strong preventions technology'). Punctuation is also sometimes incorrect. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules, such as subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and article usage. Practice writing clearer and more accurate sentences, and review your work for common errors.

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