Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 4+: Social media is becoming more and more popular with young people these days. Why do you think this is? What are the advantages and disadvantages of social media for young people?

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Nowadays, more and more people, especially young people, are choosing to use social media. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of using social media.

A major benefit of this is that it enables people to connect with one another from all over the world. Through applications like WhatsApp, Instagram,Tiktok, Telegram, and Facebook,there are our top 5 popular app in my country.With this applications we can not only connect with people in another county and we can also buy something in online shop.Somebody find social friends.Sometimes happens you parents live far of you, or your bestfriend. This happens when you going to another country for university or business trips.Is that everywere we have internet to chated in social media at any time.

However, this trend is not without its disadvantages. One of the major drawbacks is its impact on mental health. Moreover, young people are dependent on the internet. While finding friends in social media has merits, it has merits and demerits likely it is dangerius.Social friens you don’t know they can order something bad. In my view, social media doing our life bore.Because all people scrol viseos spend time with thair gadjet. For example, young people prefer to play online game not ofline game like football,baskesdball and anything else.

Word Count: 212

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 7

social: 6

media: 4

young: 3

another: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt, presenting a position and discussing advantages and disadvantages. However, the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. The essay could benefit from more specific examples and a clearer structure. To improve, focus on developing each point with more detail and providing concrete evidence to support your claims. Also, ensure that your arguments are logically organized and easy to follow. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay's structure is somewhat clear, introducing the topic and outlining the main points. However, the paragraphing and flow of ideas need improvement. The second paragraph attempts to discuss advantages but lacks clear organization and transitions between ideas. The third paragraph introduces disadvantages, but the connection between sentences is weak, and the examples provided are not fully developed. To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, use clear topic sentences, and employ transition words to link ideas smoothly. For example, use phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' 'On the other hand,' and 'Therefore' to guide the reader through your argument.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary. There are instances of informal language ('our top 5 popular app') and some inaccuracies in word choice ('social friens'). To enhance lexical resource, try to use synonyms and a wider variety of vocabulary related to the topic. Focus on using more precise and formal language. For example, instead of 'doing our life bore,' you could say 'making our lives less engaging' or 'leading to a more monotonous lifestyle.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. There are also issues with punctuation and spelling. For example, 'Is that everywere we have internet to chated in social media at any time' is grammatically incorrect and unclear. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on constructing simple, clear sentences and gradually incorporate more complex structures as your confidence grows. Proofread carefully for errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and word order. Consider using grammar-checking tools and seeking feedback from native English speakers to identify and correct errors.

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Lexical Resource

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