Opinion

Band 5+: Tourism has been a good source of revenue in many countries and the government should promote the industry. Do you agree or disagree?

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In this contemporary era, tourism as a source of capital for the country had been through significant debate of issue. Authorities should help this area for their own benefits society benefit. I firmly agree to this notion and shall articulates many related points in the forth coming paragraphs.

To commence with, their are myriad of reasons supporting the statement that tourism is the is a great source of revenue and should be taken seriously. Firstly, if the country have many different tourist places and tactic to uplift the heritage of that place, then a large chunk of their income depends on tourism. nowadays nations investing massively in this area and numerous various countries already dependent on tourism. Secondly, Vicious loop cycle nourished by tourism is a mindset that only used by some. The revenue generated from tourism is then spent on various sectors of the nation like healthcare and education which in return creating cycle, consequentially creating less dependence on outside income for income. For example the seven wonders infrastructure of countries that have these wonders can are generating immence revenue from tourism sector like India has a Taj Mahal.

Furthermore, adminsteration ought to promote tourism industry. Government should preserve country’s own wealth got from inheritance and showcase it as a tourist attraction. Building reputation in world leads to furnish of tourism industry. Moreover, drive economy and adds jobs is the most positive side of this area. Bring in foreign currency, increases local tax revenues, simultaneously boosting opening gates of different job opportunities. For example 2022 FIFA world cup hosted by Qatar, drastic changes witnessed after the event that is boon in tourism.

In conclusion, tourism is the most crucial sector if taken in account and have the capacity to make it as a source of income.

Word Count: 297

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

tourism: 10

income: 4

source: 3

should: 3

their: 3

revenue: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position of agreement. The main ideas are relevant and supported with examples, but the development is somewhat limited and lacks precision. There are some lapses in clarity and focus, and the conclusion is underdeveloped. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea, expand on how tourism benefits the economy and society, and provide a more comprehensive conclusion that summarizes the key points.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the flow is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between ideas. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'To commence with', 'Furthermore', 'In conclusion' are used, but the progression of arguments is not always logical). Paragraphing is attempted but the second body paragraph mixes several ideas without clear development. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic, use a wider range of linking words accurately, and make sure each sentence logically follows the previous one.

Lexical Resource

The essay attempts to use a range of vocabulary (e.g., 'contemporary era', 'myriad of reasons', 'uplift the heritage', 'vicious loop cycle', 'immence revenue', 'adminsteration', 'boon in tourism'), but there are frequent errors in word choice, collocation, and spelling (e.g., 'immence' should be 'immense', 'adminsteration' should be 'administration', 'furnish' is used incorrectly, 'vicious loop cycle' is not a standard phrase). The vocabulary is not always appropriate or precise, and some expressions are informal or unclear. To improve, focus on using accurate and natural collocations, expand vocabulary related to tourism and economics, and proofread for spelling errors.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity, including subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'if the country have'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'shall articulates'), missing articles (e.g., 'a good source of revenue' is correct but 'the is a great source' is wrong), and awkward sentence structures (e.g., 'Vicious loop cycle nourished by tourism is a mindset that only used by some'). Punctuation is often missing or misused, and there are run-on sentences. While some complex structures are attempted, they are not controlled accurately. To improve, review basic grammar rules, practice writing clear and correct sentences, and use a variety of sentence structures with proper punctuation.

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