Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 5+: Some people advocate the death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society.Describe the advantages and disadvantages of the death penalty and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, many people believe that the death penalty should be used for people who have committed violent crimes, while others think that capital punishment is unacceptable in modern society. In this essay, I will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages befor giving my opinion.

One major advantage is can be seen as a strong punishment for serious crimes, such as murder. Some people belive that criminals who kill another person must to impose the most serve punishment. Also capital punishment may prevent some people from commiting serious crimes. For instance when someone receive a several punishment another person does not want to experience it again.

On the other hand,there are some disadvantages to consider. Firstly the biggest problem is that innocent people can sometimes. For instance if person is sentenced to deaht and later found to be innocent, the mistake cannot be corrected. Second is that modern society can use life improsonment instead. This punishment protects society from dangerous criminals without taking their lives. In addition, some people believe that the death penalty is unethical because every person should have the right to live.

In conclusion, although death penalty offers certain benefits such as deterring crime, it also presents drawbacks including wrongful conviction. Overall, I believe that life imprisonment is better

Word Count: 211

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 6

punishment: 6

person: 4

believe: 3

death: 3

penalty: 3

crimes: 3

society: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of the death penalty and providing a clear opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and lacks depth. The advantages and disadvantages are presented but not fully extended or supported with detailed examples or reasoning. There are also language errors (e.g., 'befor', 'belive', 'must to impose', 'serve punishment', 'several punishment', 'deaht', 'improsonment') that occasionally impede clarity. To improve, focus on fully developing each point with specific examples and explanations, and ensure grammatical accuracy and appropriate vocabulary. Additionally, the conclusion could more explicitly restate the opinion and summarize the main points. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, coherence is sometimes hindered by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'One major advantage is can be seen as', 'when someone receive a several punishment'). These issues make some sentences difficult to follow. To improve, focus on writing clear, grammatically correct sentences and using cohesive devices more accurately (e.g., 'On the other hand' is used but not followed by a comma). Also, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that ideas are logically developed.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic (e.g., 'death penalty', 'capital punishment', 'deterring crime', 'wrongful conviction'). However, there are several spelling errors ('befor', 'belive', 'serve' instead of 'severe', 'commiting', 'deaht', 'improsonment') and some inappropriate word choices ('several punishment' instead of 'severe punishment'). These errors reduce clarity. To improve, proofread carefully and expand your vocabulary with more precise and sophisticated terms related to crime and punishment. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that affect understanding. These include subject-verb agreement ('someone receive'), incorrect verb forms ('must to impose'), missing words ('innocent people can sometimes' - missing 'be wrongly convicted'), and incorrect sentence structures ('One major advantage is can be seen as'). Punctuation is also inconsistent (e.g., missing comma after 'On the other hand'). To improve, review basic grammar rules, practice constructing complex sentences accurately, and edit your work for errors.

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