Discussion

Band 6+: Some people believe schools should focus more on mathematics, while others believe communication skills are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Many individuals think that schools should give much attention to mathematics, whereas others believe that communication skills are crucial. Although, mathematics is essential for students to develop logical and analytical thinking. I believe that communication skills should have greater emphasis as it is necessary for students in every areas of life.

On the one hand, schools focusing more on mathematics can foster students logical thinking and can prepare them for certain careers, as this subject develops students ability such as problem-solving and analytical skills. These skills are particularly important for students who intend to pursue career in engineering, science, finance, and IT. Furthermore, mathematical knowledge can also benefit in everyday life, when managing personal finances, calculating expenses, and comparing prices. Therefore mathematics plays an important role in students development by providing stronger foundation for higher education and many professional fields.

On the other hand, communication skills are arguably even more important for the students because it’s crucial in every aspects of personal and professional life. With the good speaking skills they can interact with the friends and other people without hesitation. Moreover, these skills assist them to communicate with their colleagues, customers or clients in their jobs. Nevertheless, even highly professionals will struggle to succeed if they are unable to explain their ideas or reason to others properly. In addition, it also helps students to study abroad and interact with different kinds of people. Therefore there are many aspects of life where communication is an universal skill which is necessary and schools should provide students with opportunities to develop speaking, listening and interpersonal skills.

In conclusion, mathematics is valuable for developing intellectual and practical skills while communication skills are essential for academic success, employment and everyday relationships. Although both deserves considerable attention, I believe that communication should have a greater emphasis in schools.

Word Count: 303

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

skills: 9

students: 9

communication: 6

mathematics: 5

schools: 4

should: 4

believe: 3

important: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both views and presents a clear opinion, which is good. The position is maintained throughout. However, the development of ideas could be more precise and focused. For instance, the point about mathematics preparing students for careers is relevant but could be more specific. Similarly, the argument for communication skills could be strengthened with more concrete examples or deeper exploration. There are minor grammatical and lexical issues, such as 'students ability' and 'it's crucial in every aspects', which slightly affect clarity. To improve, ensure subject-verb agreement and use more precise vocabulary. Also, consider structuring paragraphs with a clear topic sentence and supporting details to enhance coherence.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion. The progression of ideas is logical, and paragraphing is managed effectively. However, there are minor lapses in cohesion, such as the abrupt transition in the introduction ('Although, mathematics is essential...') and the use of 'Nevertheless' in the second body paragraph, which does not clearly contrast with the preceding sentence. To improve, ensure that linking words are used accurately and that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that is consistently developed.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with some precise and appropriate choices (e.g., 'logical and analytical thinking', 'problem-solving and analytical skills', 'universal skill'). There is evidence of flexibility in expression. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as 'students ability' (should be 'students' ability'), 'in every areas' (should be 'in every area' or 'in all areas'), and 'with the good speaking skills' (should be 'with good speaking skills'). To achieve a higher score, aim for more natural collocations and ensure grammatical accuracy in word forms and prepositions. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, showing some flexibility. However, there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity and accuracy. Examples include: 'Although, mathematics is essential...' (incorrect use of 'Although' as a conjunctive adverb), 'students ability' (missing apostrophe), 'in every areas' (subject-verb agreement), 'it's crucial in every aspects' (should be 'aspect'), 'even highly professionals' (should be 'even highly professional individuals' or 'even professionals'), and 'both deserves' (should be 'both deserve'). To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, and proper punctuation. Reviewing these areas will enhance overall grammatical accuracy.

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