Discussion

Band 4+: Some people believe that children should be given homework every day, while others think that it is unnecessary. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people think that students should do homework every day, while others say it is bad idea. In this essay I explain why I believe that the homework is not important but neccessary.

Firstly, to do homework everyday can help students repeat topic which they had in school lesson. If schoolchildren practise their lesson at home, they have more chance to comprehend subject better. For examles in education where give lot of homeworks result of exams better than the usual schools. Therefore homework can be useful for students knowledges.

Secondly, a lot of homework can be pressure for schoolchildren. When the students spend a lot of time to do homework, they have not time to their own life and relax. For instance the students who have lot homeworks they sleep less, and the next day there were without energy and it affect their health.

To conclude, homework is helpful but it should not given in large amount everyday. My opinion is, school should find a way to give students enough quantity of homeworks so the child doesn’t get tired.

Word Count: 179

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

homework: 7

students: 6

should: 3

their: 3

homeworks: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both views and presents a clear position, but the development of ideas is limited and lacks depth. The first paragraph on the benefits of homework is supported with a general example, but the second paragraph on drawbacks is more descriptive than analytical. The conclusion is clear but could be more fully developed. To improve, provide more specific and detailed examples, and ensure each paragraph fully explores the idea with clear reasoning and support. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by abrupt transitions and unclear referencing. For example, the phrase 'For examles in education where give lot of homeworks result of exams better than the usual schools' is confusing and lacks clear connection to the previous sentence. The conclusion could be more effectively linked to the arguments presented. To improve, use clear topic sentences and ensure each paragraph has a logical progression of ideas. Additionally, use cohesive devices (e.g., 'on the one hand', 'on the other hand', 'furthermore') to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some repetition (e.g., 'homework', 'students'). There are attempts at more sophisticated phrases like 'comprehend subject better' and 'pressure for schoolchildren', but these are not always used accurately. Some word choices are incorrect or awkward (e.g., 'neccessary', 'knowledges', 'lot of homeworks'). To improve, expand your vocabulary and use precise terms. For example, instead of 'lot of homeworks', use 'excessive homework' or 'large amounts of homework'. Also, avoid informal language and ensure correct word forms (e.g., 'necessary' instead of 'neccessary'). Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'result of exams better' should be 'results of exams are better'), incorrect use of articles (e.g., 'a bad idea' instead of 'bad idea'), and missing prepositions (e.g., 'spend a lot of time to do homework' should be 'spend a lot of time doing homework'). There are also spelling errors (e.g., 'neccessary', 'examles', 'homeworks'). The range of sentence structures is limited, with many simple sentences. To improve, practice using a variety of complex and compound sentences, and review basic grammar rules such as subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions. Proofreading for spelling errors is also essential.

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