Opinion

Band 6+: Some people believe that children should spend more time learning practical skills (e.g., cooking, budgeting, basic first aid) than academic subjects at school. Others believe academic subjects are more important.

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In the present age, education has become a controversial topic. Some people believe that schools should assist in gaining more practical knowledge, because it helps us in our daily life, while others argue that it is more important to teach academic skills due to becoming successful in a career.

On the one hand, practical experiences can prepare students for the daily routine and decisions. This is because people encounter various situations every day. For instance, if students learn some financial management skills at the earliest age, they will already know how to solve their financial problems by the middle age or they can administer first aid when someone is injured. Moreover, they can be prepared for numerous situations. As a result, it is crucial to teach practical skills in schools to provide basic knowledge about how to solve daily problems.

On the other hand, learning academic subjects such as mathematics, science, and biology open much better and wider opportunities for a successful career. In other words, learners who taught scientific subjects have special knowledge and can use them for his development. For example, students who graduated from school based on scientific knowledge applied to labs or governments to affect the environment and make our life more convenient. Therefore, it can help make graduates more serious, make wise decisions and rely on science.

In conclusion, both sides make valid arguments and schools ought to teach each of them because they have own advantages and effect on learners lives. Practical skills deal with basic needs, while academic skill provide greater opportunities for the future.

Word Count: 262

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

practical: 4

knowledge: 4

skills: 4

schools: 3

because: 3

daily: 3

teach: 3

academic: 3

students: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both views and presents a clear position in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and lacks precision. For example, the example about first aid is not fully explained, and the argument for academic subjects could be more specific. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, provide more detailed examples, and avoid vague statements. Also, check for grammatical errors and word choice (e.g., 'cooling' instead of 'cooking', 'administer' instead of 'administrate').

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is logically organized with clear paragraphs for each viewpoint and a conclusion. However, the flow could be improved by using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For instance, the transition from the first body paragraph to the second is abrupt. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective by summarizing the key points more clearly. Consider using linking words such as 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', or 'Consequently' to enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriate to the topic, such as 'controversial', 'encounter', 'administer first aid', and 'rely on science'. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, e.g., 'assist in gaining more practical knowledge' could be 'help students acquire practical skills', and 'open much better and wider opportunities' is slightly unnatural. To improve, aim for more precise and natural collocations, and avoid repetition of words like 'practical' and 'academic' by using synonyms. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'learners who taught scientific subjects' should be 'learners who are taught scientific subjects', and 'can use them for his development' has a pronoun agreement issue (should be 'their development'). Also, 'schools ought to teach each of them because they have own advantages' is missing an article ('their own advantages'). Punctuation is generally correct, but the final sentence lacks a period. To improve, proofread for subject-verb agreement, article usage, and pronoun consistency.

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Band 6+: Some people believe that children should spend more time learning practical skills (e.g., cooking, budgeting, basic first aid) than academic subjects at school. Others believe academic subjects are more important.

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Essays On The Same Topic:

Some people believe that children should spend more time learning practical skills (e.g., cooking, budgeting, basic first aid) than academic subjects at school. Others believe academic subjects are more important.

Some people believe that children should spend more time learning practical skills (e.g., cooking, budgeting, basic first aid) than academic subjects at school. Others believe academic subjects are more important.

Some people believe that children should spend more time learning practical skills (e.g., cooking, budgeting, basic first aid) than academic subjects at school. Others believe academic subjects are more important.

Some people believe that children should spend more time learning practical skills (e.g., cooking, budgeting, basic first aid) than academic subjects at school. Others believe academic subjects are more important.

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