Opinion

Band 5+: Some people believe that schools and universities should focus primarily on practical skills and subjects that improve employment prospects and prepare students for real life, rather than concentrating on academic and intellectual development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Every career nowadays is related to education, starting from school and it’s preparing you the student for the long-time. Some people believe that school should concentrate on preparing students for employment, while others believe that school should focus on teaching academic subject. I totally agree that school should focus more on different kind of jobs not only teaching because students are responsible to choose their future jobs and school should only organize them.

On the one hand, preparing for employment has various benefits. The most crucial one, is get a lot of experience and know the rules of any career before starting that help employees to be more creative. Students will be independent to their parent in the future when they get their own job that they prefer it. When student prepare their selves on their interested career, they will be more developed and do their training with curiosity to boost their CV for the future. For example, many companies accept employees such as they have training on this job or working experience. In addition, school boost them not only on work, but in the two personality sides: physical and moral. Also, there are many jobs that examine employees on their moral personality.

On the other hand, school should organize students to choose their future career. For example, teaching is not the prefer job for all students, school should help student to indicate their ability for career not for one. Furthermore, school should focus more in studying and make the curriculum more interested, this helps students to stay in education way.

In conclusion, I agree that school should focus more preparing students for their interested career not for teaching only. Preparing to a new career, allow people to be more produced and know everything before starting that help them to achieve their information and raise their level rapidly during a few several years.

Word Count: 313

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 13

school: 10

should: 8

career: 7

students: 7

preparing: 5

focus: 4

teaching: 4

future: 4

starting: 3

student: 3

employees: 3

interested: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a clear position agreeing that schools should focus more on preparing students for employment. However, the development of ideas lacks clarity and precision. The arguments are somewhat repetitive and could be better supported with specific examples or reasoning. The essay would benefit from a more balanced discussion, acknowledging the opposing view more thoroughly. Additionally, the structure could be improved with clearer topic sentences and logical progression. To improve, focus on developing each main idea with concrete examples and ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the key points without introducing new ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between sentences. For example, the transition from the first body paragraph to the second could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'On the one hand... On the other hand' is used but the second paragraph does not fully contrast with the first). To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'furthermore', 'moreover', 'in addition', 'however') and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is logically developed.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are several instances of imprecise or inappropriate word choices (e.g., 'organize them', 'boost them', 'produced'). Some phrases are repetitive (e.g., 'school should focus more'). To improve, aim for more precise and natural vocabulary (e.g., 'equip students with skills', 'guide them', 'productive'). Also, avoid informal or unclear expressions like 'the two personality sides: physical and moral'. Expanding your vocabulary and using more sophisticated collocations will enhance the lexical resource. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and awkward structures that affect clarity. Examples include: 'it's preparing you the student for the long-time', 'The most crucial one, is get a lot of experience', 'Students will be independent to their parent', 'school should help student to indicate their ability for career not for one'. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence fragments. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, using correct verb forms, and ensuring subject-verb agreement. Practice writing more complex sentences with proper punctuation and grammar.

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Band 5+: Some people believe that schools and universities should focus primarily on practical skills and subjects that improve employment prospects and prepare students for real life, rather than concentrating on academic and intellectual development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

Some people believe that schools and universities should focus primarily on practical skills and subjects that improve employment prospects and prepare students for real life, rather than concentrating on academic and intellectual development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that schools and universities should focus primarily on practical skills and subjects that improve employment prospects and prepare students for real life, rather than concentrating on academic and intellectual development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that schools and universities should focus primarily on practical skills and subjects that improve employment prospects and prepare students for real life, rather than concentrating on academic and intellectual development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that schools and universities should focus primarily on practical skills and subjects that improve employment prospects and prepare students for real life, rather than concentrating on academic and intellectual development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The best to learn about other cultures is to work in multinational organisations. Do you agree or disagree?

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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